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Single Parent Syndrome
Toni
#1 Posted : Tuesday, March 09, 2010 10:28:25 AM(UTC)
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Not a question or anything but just a story to show that even 'reasonable' parents can fall into the trap of being manipulative and mean.

My sister and her ex are both very reasonable (so i thought) and have a good understanding regarding maintenance and visitation and I have always taken my hat off to them but this mornng i heard something that shocked me!!

My neice and sister spent the night by me and this morning my neice (6 years old) gave my sister a bit of cheek and my sister said to her:
If you take that tone with me again you will NOT visit Daddy this weekend

I was so upset hearing this. How can she use a visit with the childs father against her?? I didnt shut up of course and said that it is wrong to use her dad against her when my sister said 'Visiting her dad is a TREAT'

To which i replied...'NO! Visiting her dad is a RIGHT"

Single parents....DONT DO THIS to your children and your ex partner! its disgusting. I am so ashamed of my sister.

Parent Alienation Syndrome...some people need to read about it.
jo49
#2 Posted : Tuesday, March 09, 2010 11:09:18 AM(UTC)
jo49

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Hey Toni, yeah i guess your sister could of handled the situation better. But sometimes in a rush of anger you say things that are not appropriate. I dont think she would do that in any case, she has a level minded sis like you to pull her right.
Toni
#3 Posted : Tuesday, March 09, 2010 12:37:32 PM(UTC)
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yeah..it made me sad coz i wondered how often she uses my neices daddy against her. My niece ADORES her father to bits! shame man.

Also..being from a relationship where my man has a son with another woman i would HATE to know that this other woman says things like that to his son. he would be devestated to know he is being used as a weapon for his sons mom to use to make her son be 'better behaved'

whatever happened to a good talking to? a time out? etc
Guest
#4 Posted : Thursday, March 11, 2010 12:59:23 AM(UTC)
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hmmmm....

And when you see things like this, does ANYBODY still believe in that mythical creature, the mother who DOESN'T manipulate her ex-husband/partner and her child, to get exactly what SHE wants?

Toni, sadly what you have witnessed with your sister is just the tip of the iceberg - what ELSE happens behind closed doors, what ELSE does she use to manipulate her child? And if she, whom you believe is a stable person with a healthy relationship with her ex-husband, can behave like this, how much worse do you think mentally 'challenged' women with open and festering resentment towards their ex-husbands can behave?

For all the women crying "No, NEVER! I would NEVER do that! A good mother would NEVER do that!" - there are thousands of men who will tell you, and be able to prove, that their ex-wife/partner does just that and worse.

It all comes down to the power they (ex-wives) find themselves able to wield - and while power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely.

Sadly, the people who suffer the most are the children.

But please don't forget that the father also suffers - everybody talks about how the children suffer at the end of the day. But if the fathers DIDN'T suffer, the ex-wives would soon lose interest in behaving so badly, and there wouldn't be the number of problems caused by vindictive ex-wives that so obviously, demonstrably, and unarguably exist. The only reason the mothers behave like this is to hurt their ex-husbands/partners. Forget the lofty ideals, the 'moral' high-ground, and all the rest of that claptrap that these women deal out - this kind of behaviour exists for one reason only: to hurt the father of the child(ren).

That it is childish, despicable, and even often criminal, is easy to prove.
That it shouldn't be allowed to happen, is a foregone conclusion.
But to stop it. THAT'S the problem.
And as long as what the courts in this country, aided and abetted by the lawyers and attorneys who care only for money and nothing for people and justice, continue to routinely award custody to mothers, regardless of their mental state and their fitness to actually parent, rather than to the better parent, regardless of gender, and thereby continue to conveniently present an aggrieved and vengeful party with a laughably easy means to extract revenge and inflict hurt upon their ex-partner, this kind of situation will continue to present.

By the time a woman openly uses the kind of blatant manipulation you saw your sister employ, how many times has she covertly and slyly manipulated that child and the father to get her own way, in secret? An educated guess would say this wasn't the first time, by any means...
Toni
#5 Posted : Friday, March 12, 2010 2:23:52 PM(UTC)
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See...what really got to me was that my partner also has a son and i just cringed coz his ex is very uinstable and a total sociapath and i thought..if my wonderful sister coudl do that then imagibne what my partners son is going thru with his mom.
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