Oh, my mother in law is the same, i think she is even worse. My husband is also so damn scared to stand up to her, they treat me like i really don't exist. i'm from durban, so living here in joburg with no family has made it even more difficult. it's like she recruits her other children as well, because every cahnce any one of them get, they are nasty towards me. i had had enough of it, so now, i don't go to her house often, she never comes to my house, which is good for me, problem is, she now has my husband practically living there. she can't do anything for herself, she must phone him everyday because he must go to her house every day, I wonder for what really... she also likes bringing his ex's around... maybe she's trying to get them back together again. i don't care anymore, as i said I just live my life, don't even make him see that it's bothering me anymore (i learned not to make him see that, it's hard though).so now he hardly goes there, i just give him the silent treatment, oh and i don't cook. seems to be working, because now he with me 24/7.

Mothers-in-law... ah... I USED to have problems with mine.

I was never good enough, her daughter was never good enough, nobody but her darling eldest child, my Brother-in-Law, was ever good enough - and HE was always held up as the example to which everybody else must aspire. I wonder if the Vatican is aware of this shining example of uncanonised sainthood just waiting to be recognised?

But I digress....
I'm a recovering alcoholic (if you think that's fun, believe me you have a lot of learning to do), and even after 5 solid years (yup, count that - FIVE YEARS!) of total sobriety, my MIL would refer to me as "...that alcoholic piece of SH1T!..." amongst other endearing terms...

I bowed my head and took it, and let the water run off my back like a duck.

And the abuse kept coming.

Until the day she arrived (Father-in-Law in tow), while my wife was out, and started criticising me and my parenting style. Keep in mind that she was an absolute martinet to her own children, daily doling out hidings, slaps, and pinches to her own children like overindulgent parents hand out candy to a spoilt child. This particular day my MIL took exception to me disciplining my own son, in my own house, for breaking a clearly defined and accepted rule, and she told me so in as many words as she could muster. Enjoying her success at insulting me, she proceeded to criticise my wife and her housekeeping - to which I replied, "If you don't like it here, leave and don't return. This isn't your house - it's mine".

At this point I had already sent my son to my room to watch tv behind a closed door, and had closed the security door that keeps my sleeping area separate from the lounge/kitchen area... Altogether a good move, as it turned out.

My MIL lost it totally and attacked me physically. Sadly, in response to her screaming and shouting, my son came out of the room and actually witnessed some of what now transpired, but was protected from physical harm by the security gate: I watched helplessly as this madwoman trashed my house, screamed loud enough to wake the dead, threw a kettle of boiling water at me, stabbed me with one of my own kitchen knives, bit me, tore my shirt and vest off my back, tore my shorts off (thankfully not my jocks), to the helpless and useless accompaniment of "Please stop" from her husband, before my wife finally arrived and threw her (and him) off the property.

Throughout the entire ordeal I kept my cool and merely tried to minimise the damage - I never once raised my hands to her, and never retaliated physically. And my FIL and my houseboy have both confirmed my side of the story.

Long story short, saw a lawyer, got him to put a restraining order on the old girl, and that was the end of that. No more problems since then at all - she's not allowed near my house, near me, and only allowed to see my son under supervision of my wife.

And guess what?

My wife and I have never been happier! We haven't had a SINGLE argument since then, my wife's whole personality has opened up and blossomed, and even my son (all of six years old now) has progressed in leaps and bounds, despite occasionally asking some telling questions regarding why his maternal grandmother hit me and broke our stuff in the house... Suffice it to say, she's NOT his favourite person... and I have done absolutely NOTHING to encourage his attitude - in fact, when he asks, I tell him she's sick and needs help.

Of all the things I have done in my life, keeping my cool under that level of pressure was the absolute BEST thing I have EVER managed to accomplish.

Mothers in Law are dangerous creatures when they forget their place - and their place is on the sidelines.



Damage to my house - over R15,000-00

Her not being allowed NEAR my house EVER again, mine and my wife's peace-of-mind, and my son's safety - PRICELESS!

Message was deleted by a User.

i think you should just calmly one day ask her if this ex was so perfect for him why did he choose you

My, sounds like my lovely world. Meet a man I fall in love but a child is on the way.. We marry and the next two days after my mother in law invites us to dinner with the ex that traveled 200 miles to show the grandchild and rub the decision to marry me in his face. There after my mother in law never came to the house without saying the ex called and something about the child. I can see the concern for the child but there has to be a liit with the other and chosen spouse of the husband. Some respect needs to be in the familys life that has been chosen for every day or else the family is lost,... Sorry mom

hello. i just tell people what they would like to hear in such situations. haha. like my MIL, a week into our marriage, asked for grandkids. at first i though she was kidding, then she pestered, and pestered. AND PESTERED. it drove me crazy. so i said OK Aunty, i'll have triplets, and leave them with you, you can care & provide for them. she enver mentioned it again. my dad was ill, and passed away from cancer. the mIL was very quick to tell me about all the people she knew had cancer, and how well they are doing. over & over again. i give people three chances. after the thrid time she did this, i told, ja, well pity my father was such a weakling hey, maybe if he was as strong as the people you knoe, he wouldnt have died. she never mentioed it again. so in you case just go on and say, ja your son shoulda married that lady, never mind the drug addication, he efinitely would have been happier hey. smile, sip your tea, and get on with it.

my stupid mil did the same thing to me when i married her son...until we emigrated to england then she stopped as i upped my game and achieved something she could never!

This is just so true, I wish some men were like you, but instead they are blinded by what is sometimes blinded, but I have been at that stage and I just said enough is enough I am not going to stand there and watch while my husband doesn't even do anything about the situation, then at the end he wants to tell me I said he must choose them or me, but I actually said to him to see wrong and right and sometimes correct his mother when she is nasty to me, but I guess that just tells me what he really thought about our marriage, maybe his mother will find the perfect wife for him, I do not need to listen to her, and her remarks anymore, she is not better than anyone out there, we are just human beings and that is how God made us. Luckily I can say I am not standing behind the curtain and thanks to his mother I have decided to give her her will and ask my husband for a divorce, because if he cannot even stand up for me or stand by his family, then what kind of husband is he. I will stand by my family but not with my husband if he cannot stand up for me. I hope his mother is so satisfied today because of what she did to our marriage from the day she met me she had her claws out for me, but I guess what goes around comes around, If I never see her again it will be to soon for me.........

I realy liked your post, because this is how I feel, my husband always gets me wrong and he never stands up for me and then he cheats and when you catch him, he suddenly wants to tell you everything is your fault. I have never felt so disappointed in my life, and never thought that my husband would do something like that, but I guess everything is possible in today's world. I think I will never get over this, and this will haunt me for the rest of my life, that I wasn't good enough and that he could take my hart and rip it out like he did, and then he wants to kik me out of the house, I do not thinks so, he have put me trough hell, and sometimes I just think that one day he will realise what he did was wrong.

Regards,

Roestorff