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Please HELP!!!!
Guest
#23 Posted : Tuesday, March 09, 2010 6:58:36 PM(UTC)
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Guest wrote:
Find out how much money they want and then negotiate pay them once they sign the adoption papers


Oops, no I think that's bad advice, you can't pay someone for their child.
Maria
#24 Posted : Tuesday, March 09, 2010 8:53:01 PM(UTC)
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The person who wrote Unfortunately the parents are legally entitled to take their child back up to 1 year AFTER finalisaition of an adoption if circumstances grant it please quote the relevant section in the children's act. My understanding is that there is a 60 day waiting period after which time the adoption is finalised and the biological parents have no further legal rights to the child.

Original Poster, how effectively you manage to deal with this situation will depend on a number of factors, and one of them is money. If you can afford it then I suggest you go and see a good family lawyer who has experience in contested adoption. (I'm assuming you haven't legally adopted the baby, otherwise this thread would not exist.) The law does protect the rights of biological parents, and what is in the child's best interest is not always obvious. Just be careful that you don't end up in a situation where the bio parents take the baby and then "blackmail" you by asking for money in return for which you can have contact with the child. This would not be in anybody's interests. You can petition the high court for a court order giving you access to the child, you would have to prove that you play an important part in this child's life and that she would be emotionally harmed if she has no further contact with you. Once again an experienced lawyer can advise.

If I may play devil's advocate for a moment... If the courts give the baby to you, and the bio parents pull their lives back together... are you one day going to tell your daughter that her biological family wanted her back but you refused to give her to them? I have an adopted daughter. We went through a contested adoption with biological family. It's not for the faint hearted and it can be very, very difficult to objectively decide what is best for the child.

I recently counselled a young, pregnant friend that I think giving her baby up for adoption would be best. She is young, an orphan, disabled and a student. She chose to marry the father and keep the baby, and they are really battling financially. BUT it is not for me to judge the way they choose to bring up their child as long as she is not abused. Standards differ and one should be very careful not to judge others by your own middle or upper class standards.
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#25 Posted : Tuesday, March 09, 2010 8:55:14 PM(UTC)
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Find out how much money they want and then negotiate pay them once they sign the adoption papers


Bad, bad plan. What makes you think the bio parents do not also know the law and their rights? They can very well have the original poster arrested for trying to buy a baby, in which case he or she will be unable to help the child ever again.
Guest
#26 Posted : Wednesday, March 10, 2010 5:25:52 PM(UTC)
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I've been reading all the comments above and the way I see it, is that no-one really seems to care what is REALLY best for the child. People who are prepared to raise a child who is not their own is behaving in an unselfish manner. The child should decide where he wants to stay, not based on material things but based on love and stability, the child will thank you for it one day. I'm not criticising anyone but you can't, for whatever reason, put your own life on top of your prioroty list above your child's. As a parent, you are suppose to care for and love your child. We all know that children are not our belongings, we're merely here to raise them and love them and keep them safe until the Lord decides their fate. So, does it really matter whether you are the biological parent or not.

I've been given the task, no, priveledge to look after my sister's child, who has just turned two. My sister wants me and my husband to adopt him but she doesn't want to go through the whole process herself, although she has to initiate the adoption herself. I love my sister dearly and it has nothing to do with money or any other material things, she just doesn't want to raise him. I consider her my surrogate. This little boy has brought so much joy in my life and I can't imagine not having him around, he has been in our care since he was 5mnths old. We have consulted the family court and have been advised to wait for my sister to make the first move. I don't want to put any pressure on her, but that boy needs a medical aid, and peace of mind that he won't just be taken away from his place of safety and warmth.

I'm not asking for any advise, I know exactly what to do. I just want people to open their eyes and realise that a child can't speak for or defend him/herself and therefore relies on us to fight FOR them. I get sick in my stumach when I read about children being abused, taken away awaiting the parent's rehabilitation and then handed back again, and we all know what happens next. I know that some people can change but is it really fair that the child has to wait for that to happen. I will fight for the right of the child that I love so dearly.
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#27 Posted : Friday, March 12, 2010 11:50:56 AM(UTC)
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Wow, i took time to ready everyones comments. And it is shocking, both from the biological parent aspect and some comments on people claiming they are adoptive an foster parents. Everyone is so negative. Why? Are anyone remembering that these children was born into a world of drugs, abuse, poverty, every child has a good mother out there, hence a biological or adoptive, foster. As adults it is our responsibility to keep all the children safe!

And the comment about offering an amount of money, whoever you are, and however it might sound, thoughts like that crosses one's mind, as you would absolutately do anything to keep that child with you, safe and well looked after. So it is not nice to joke about it.

We are very proud foster parents of two children from the same bio mother and father. In our case the first born was very badly abused, and had multiple fractures, and as a baby of one month this is terrible, to think anyone could hurt a baby. Both children have been in our care, and we consider ourselves lucky that they were babies, so we have a really special bond with both children.
We found out that the social worker on the mother side did not co operate with the police investigation on the criminal case against the mother, and the bio mother firmly believes she will get her children back. She has no home, no income, no education, no husband, no support system, no family. Early on we as parents realised that this is not about us, our needs, our home being filled with little feet, and our family loving them as we dont have children of our own. So you can imagine the absolute love and gratitude to be able to have a chance to love a child. But this is not about us, but about the children. We have been working closely with our social worker, we have been working closely with the police and we WILL succeed to keep these children safe. And that is what we fight for every day. To give them, yes a good home, with lost of clothes, rooms, and toys, but most importantly to keep them safe. To teach them as much as we can about life, and values, as we do not know what tomorrow brings. We firmly believe we will be able to adopt them one day, but for now, we take and live this day by day.
To all foster parents. I salute you, as this is emosionally and on every other level hard work! Draining, and you on this quest are selfless and are making a difference in that child's life. Know this, that you are not alone. And I also have respect for our social worker and welfare organisation, they do everything they can for the best interest for every child. But again, work closely with your (foster parent) social worker, and make sure that all the rules are followed as it happens. Remember the social workers are also just human and can make mistakes. Good luck. And have a great year!
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#29 Posted : Sunday, April 18, 2010 11:32:58 PM(UTC)
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Thank you to everyone for their advice and comments.Firstly,to those of you that think we dont love or have our childs best interests at heart....WE MOST DEFINITELY DO....We love this little being more than anything else in this world and we want whats best for her and if it meant being with bio parents then so be it.There is more to the story...Abuse and neglect!
We got her just in time but her little sister has had to see a Clinical Pshycologist at the age of TWO.

We are following the correct procedures to see to it that she is kept safe.Bio mothers profession is not in question or even the 'Caravan park"....its the enviroment,neglect and abuse that is and the fact that they NEVER stay in one place long enough.
Is that a life for a child?and to the person who said that we were fortunate enough to get a 3 month old...she couldve been 4 years old and we would have brought her into our loving family.

There are many factors to consider here of which iam unable to mention.Thanks again to all of you for the advice.

God Bless

A Loving Mommy x
Guest
#30 Posted : Sunday, April 18, 2010 11:42:33 PM(UTC)
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Regarding 'Offering money" NEVER...its Illegal and unethical...!!!!

Just wanted to clear that up!
Mellav
#38 Posted : Wednesday, May 05, 2010 6:14:57 PM(UTC)
Mellav

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the court and social worker will go to the utmost lenght to re-unite child and parent. always..

we were in the process off adoption and before the 60 days were up the bio mom wanted her baby back. she did not have a job, used drugs and stayed in a backroom with cracks so wide you could put your fist thru it. the childrens court rule in the best interest of the child that the child be placed back with the bio mom.

great law that we have to look out for the child.

shes been taken away from the bio mom after she was discoverd in a stipjoint sleeping under a table while the mom was pole dancing.

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