my friend has waited 17yrs to hear from her 3 adopted kids,i found them.asked in a email if they would consider contact with their birthmother,reply was a yes,but not right now,as they all have a lot going on in their lives,i advised them to maybe get help and surport from adotion contact centre,to pre pare,my friend was so happy,exstatic!!she rang the post op team and asked if she could write a letter and send it through the right channels.they confirmed the kids would like a letter,so she wrote it,sent it,heard nothing!!so chased it up with the team,to be told by some that the letter wasnt sent,because although it was a beutiful letter.it was to emotinal.it was not,because i helped her write it,and was very careful about content,she was sent a letter today,saying what to write in the letter that they send for,to the point of telling her to LIE!! and tell them in the letter that she is a dinner lady at a local school.my friend is disabled,and on benifits,she isnt serverly disabled.i'm disgusted with this,and i must add all 3 of these children/adults.are all over 21.i have a feeling the adoptive parents still control the letters for these kids.its all wrong.they should have the mail sent to them not the adoptive parents,she also lives alone,but was told to write that she lives with a partner,and that he is really kind to her.what kind of people are running these places,they are giving so much wrong advise,if one day these kids want to meet their mum,what will they think when they find out she is a lier.