My son ,now nearly 18 started this way,5 years ago.Luckily I am married to very intelligent ,patient wife.I at first threatened him,banned him ,and we fought day and night.Now consider this....we grow our own trees.
He is an extremely talented,intelligent soul ,and because of this was miles ahead of his peers.I was fencing him in.Maybe this is your problem with him.
You have the answer ,you just have not recognised it ,as the answer yet.We dont know you ,and this forum hardly qualifies any of us,to assist you.
Introspect ,and study of your situation is where you should start.I however would seriously suggest,start with the dad.Seems your hassle started there when daddy wasnt around anymore........boys need both a male and female parents,actively involved ,but in a very positive way ,not ganging up,or being disruptive !

Maybe you and the other dad can confront him together. when he sees that there is no movement from either side to play with but a united "force" that has their own rules with common boundaries then any next step is easy.
Moving in with other dad does not become an option to escape your house because its a "united " team, with common guidelines. , enforced on both sides.

At thirteen you and the other father should together agree to take the phone. No one becomes thew bad person.. yes the phone will have some answers.
or it costs about R1500 to get as PI to get all the sms' sent and received from your sons phone for any period of time.