step parents please help me, my fiance and i been together for three years, we r planning to get married in march next year, i love hm i know he lov me but i doubt if he loves my litttle daughter as he says he lov both of us. How do you tell if stepfather lov and care for your child.

If he is a caring person who you love and who truly loves you, there is no doubt he will do the right thing by your daughter and treat her like his own. You can't force love, though, that will come in its own time through the years of living together. I can't help wondering if there are any other reasons why you doubt him?

I am a father and have 2 step sons. I love them the same way I love my other kids, sometimes I think I love them more than their mother love them. If this man loves u then he will love her too as his own child. Step fathers and step mothers are as good as real parents. One thing to remember is that, dont take it otherwise when your man Disciplines the child, because it is also his responsibility as a parent, this is where problems start in most cases.

Hi,

I had 2 kids and my wife had 2 kids when we got married. Our daughters are the same age and our sons are aged 17 and 14. We celebrated our 9th year on the 1st of September. I love my 2 new kids as much as I love my own.

I am sure you know if he loves her already. they will have their own relationship which you cannot control.

I do not have my own biological kids. My stepdaughter is like my own child and I will die for her. I married her mother when she was 2,5 yrs old and she is 14 now.

If he loves you, he will love your child.

It all depends on how the mother handles a lot of situations. I have a step daughter (9) and step son (13) and our daughter (2). The problem in our marriage is that I am NOT allowed to punish her kids when they have done wrong, back chat me, treat me with disrespect. That includes giving them a hiding or even sending them to their room. My wife just stands there and allows her daughter to speak to me like that. If your husband has no say or input in your kids upbringing then there will be issues.

My stepkids don't call me dad as they still have a good relationship with their father and I will never force them to and don't have any issues with that.

My 2nd husband adored my daughter, however, when she got older (I mean around 17), I discovered very suggestive photo's of her that he had. (he had taken pics of her and played around with them on photoshop). I was horrified! One has to be very careful. I could be wrong but in my opinion, it is more difficult for a man to accept another man's kids than it is for a woman. Also, it is also tricky if he has kids of his own. It can also be complicated if he only has one child i.e. a son, he will then not accept your son if you have one; and likewise a daughter, he will then not accept your daughter. (I think they then feel guilty about any possible attention that they might give to your respective child -whether son or daughter; that it may upset their son or daughter and thereby fall out of favour with their kid). The last comment I would like to make is that if you marry someone with children of his own and you put so much effort into a relationship with his kids, only to end up getting divorced say 14 years down the line, it is heartbreaking! All the best to you for the future - trust you will enjoy great success and happiness!

My stepfather married my mother when my brother and I were 4 and 5 years old. They had 2 more children after that and our father has never treated us any different. He is always fair with us and gave us everything he could. We are all grown up now with kids of our own and he adores all his grandkids equaly. I do believe someone can love a child without them being blood related. And the bond will grow over the years. So give them a chance to grow together.

I think each situation has its own merits. I was involved with my sons father who has custody of his 3 children from his first marraige. It created tremendous issues in our relationship, as we had very different views on dicipline, chores, parenting etc. Problems arose because he felt I was too strict on his children, and nine times out of ten they were allowed to do as they pleased as in being disrecpectful, back chatting, lying etc, and I was always the one in the wrong. End result is that I left after 3 years, as I was made to feel and be treated like a child and the kids the adults. I think it boils down to if I was supposed to be responsible for them(which I was mosty of the time) then I should of been given the authority to deal with for example discipline issues and their fathers support. Best of luck