I would just like to receive maintnance. Divorce order ignored and the new happy family just receives all the benefits while the "old family" suffers and goes without.
I beleive that you give to the children what is due, it is very important to receive a monthly statement as to how the maintenance is being spent (for the child/children) and not on items for mom/dad. This often happens. The primary caregive is accountable in terms of the welfare of the child/chilren

Kind of sad reading all of these - My parents divorced early on and the one thing that still stings today is the way my parents constantly fought over money - the one had and the other didnt! My ex-husband ran away to the UK after I left him. He earns pounds enough to have another kid and buy a house but has only paid R3000 for his daughter in the last 8 months! I cover 95% of all her expenses - and I do it gladly because she is mine! Also because I believe that divine comeback is better than any vengence I coult ever plot! So my message - please consider how much it hurts the kids.

You have a legal right to ask your ex for invoices, etc at the end of the month showing where money was spent and how. I've kept all 'evidence of spending' not only to be able to set my ex hubby's mind to rest that the money is being spent correctly, but also to show that the R1700 a month he's paying out of a salary of R35k (plus benefits) is very much inadequate. Yes, I work but earn only a fifth of what he does and carry the bulk of our daughter's expenses. Then he still has the audacity to voice his displeasure at me not housing her in a 'security complex'.

Like the other guest said... it's not a man or woman thing - it's a mean person thing.

Hi All, Just some advice here. I am married to a man who has 2 daughters from his previous marriage. We do not have children. He pays for everything for the kids, schooling, medical, pocket money, cell phones etc. His ex does not contribute a cent. His eldest daughter is 2nd year University and I bought her a car. We pay for petrol and services of the car, university books and tuition. So for the eldest he stopped paying maintenance. He still pays maintenance for their youngest daughter and covers everything else for her cost wise including school uniforms. He also takes the children on holidays and plays a very active part in their upbringing. With all of this I keep down a good job and now end up paying and supporting his ex, because if my husband runs short of funds I have to pay to cover costs. I feel that this is very unfair towards me, but I need to also support my husband. I asked his ex if she could at least cover the petrol for the eldest daughter and she just said no. His ex is working and does not contribute a cent towards her children. Over and above the maintenance my husband also still pays towards a bond for her and her husband. With the current economic climate things are quite tough on us and we just cannot keep up anymore. My husband hates confrontation and will never take the matter up with her or the courts. I mean I even asked his eldest daughter to get a job over holidays and she just does not want to (infuence from the mother). Please can someone advise me what to do????

pay service providers directly. no money must go to her account.

Good plan but don't deduct this amount from your regular maintenance - you may not reduce maintenance without a revised court order. If you do chances are good you will have the sheriff at you gate with a domestic violence order for financial abuse. And believe me that you don't want!