Hi Tanile -- I really like your approach, when the child knows the rules so clearly, it's much easier to keep things calm. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

Thanks so much for the feedback

Thank you so much for your insightful feedback.

Four year olds are by nature very challenging, so she might just be behaving age appropriately. But yes, the move and all the changes will have been disruptive for her. I am sure you will find a better way to do things. When my older son was her age I went on a course to help me find ways to cope, and although it was no magic wand, it was a real turning point for my confidence as a parent. In Joburg you could try the Family Life Centre: www.familylife.co.za They have a number of courses available that might help. I see they have a single parent support group too.

I find the look of evil also works at times, check Masanda Peter's article on The Mommy Look on Parent24. But then sometimes I scream like a mad sow.

I have two girls, aged 5 and 3. The youngest one screams from the top of her lungs at everything. She is very stubborn and wants her way all the time. She is a moaner, and has been from 6 months, I just don't know how to get her to stop. I've tried moaning back at her when she moans and asks for something, she then keeps quiet and asks in a nice way, but this seems to be an ongoing thing. I thought perhaps she would learn and not moan, but instead speak nicely, but unfortunately it has not helped.
The eldest is very jealous of her little sister and very spiteful. If she has something she knows her sister would want, she'll say, "Look what I have", in turn there's screaming and fighting. It seems to be a constant battle. I love my girls dearly as they are very sweet, when they want to be, or on there own (as I write this there is screaming). I have resorted to hidings and sending them to there rooms. But soon after, it carries on. I've tried the naughty corner with the eldest, but feel perhaps the 3 year old is too young to understand any other punishment. She is also being teased constantly and that sparks the screaming, needless to say the eldest is always in trouble for teasing etc. I feel like a terrible mother, and would hate for my eldest to think I'm favouring the youngest one, but who do I punish??? Mostly I punish both by sending them to the room. I also find I'm screaming at them a lot. They both still wake up once a night and climb into our bed, so I'm being woken up twice a night and they're wide awake by 6am EVERY morning. I'm tired, miserable and just wish I could control my kids better. Other than all this they're pretty happy girls, they make friends easily, do well at there playschools and at home, if there's no screaming or shouting, they play quite nicely with one another, but it never lasts very long. I've tried some herbal tranquilisers to stop myself getting so agitated with them, but clearly it hasn't worked.
Any suggestions would be appreciated.

Sorry but there are to many people trying to be politically correct here. I do not put up with tantrims or disobediance. I spank and get it over with and it works like a charm. I do not negotiate as to me kids are not on that level. Under my roof its my rules and all 4 of my kids are awesome. we are mates and do everything together but I laid a very solid respectful foundation at a young age and its paid off. Kids these days in general get away with way too much and our society is rotton. Since Schools no longer dicipline kids are disrespectful and rude. If only we all held onto the 60's this world would be a better place

Cheek, back chat, fighting, rudeness, etc, = Good old hiding (from hand, to slipper, to belt depending on age)
It's quick. I got my last hiding at 15
Messy, Untidy, Lazy = Remove privileges

Don't spoil through out the year, Christmas and birthdays that's it.

Rewards systems don't always work, what if things get tough then they expect something all the time. Also learn to go without things, if you really want something you'll work towards it, and somethings take longer.