I am not a sexiest, but the reality of the matter is that unmarried women tend to use children to get to the men. This is allowed by law of many countries. I can't see any reason why should you pay such a huge amount when you can spent quarter of that if you are living with your child. If the courts or law was very interested in the well being of the child why can't they let a parent that is able to support the child to live with the child? The way our law is made, is just to increase hatred to our exs and make sure you won't enjoy life anymore. Nowadays having a moment of pleasure (physiological need) is worse than killing a person. I feel for you broer. I can't imagine how much you will pay in the next 5 years. Maybe to share with you my motto, 'I don't allow any humps/ hiccups in my life, if they appear I remove them'.

Custody- child is born out-of-wedlock and then stays with the mother and mothers parents. If it happens that the mother of the child passed away, what are the chances of getting a custody of your child? As a father of your child you were paying the maintenance and seeing your child twice a year. Can the court refuse the custody based on the fact that the child was born out-of-wedlock therefore the grandparents can take the custody of the child..........

Did I read you right? You earn more than your ex and you're STILL getting such a high amount? When I got divorced I was earning R14k LESS than him and my maintenance was set at R1500 per month for our then 8-month old daughter (exenses included nappies, formula, day care, baby-friendly food, etc). Add to this the fact that I had to move out of the home and set up a new place for the 2 of us on a salary of R3000 a month. 6 years later, my maintenance is only R1700 per month.

Yes, I'd say what you're 'earning' in custody is more than fair. Divorce calls for many changes to take place in your life... including your standard of living as you adapt to being a single income household.

My son will three in a couple of months. During the divorce we had to calculate the maintenance amount. Her and her lawyer did some of the fancy calculations I see above, and they arrived at an amount of R9000/month..no, not R900, but R9000/month. This meant that it cost R18,000/month to look after my 2-yr old son! Needless to say, I was not moved. The whole episode killed any trust I had in her. So, I asked her what the 'incremental' cost to her was of having him stay with her. She told me it was R1200, and I said I would pay R600. But before you women start calling me names, in addition to the R600, I pay half of everything he needs - half of his school fees, I buy him clothes, I pay half of any medical aid shortfall, I pay for half of any activities he does at school...I will be paying half of the costs of his birthday party when he turns 3. I can get the invoices from the school, but with the other stuff, I have asked her to email me the receipts when she buys something and I will reimburse her my portion. She refuses to do this, and then goes around talking about how the money she is getting from me is not enough!
I am committed to providing for my son, but I refuse to be taken advantage of. I love my son with everything that is within me, and I will do right by him.

Go back and asked for more cause maybe know he has a other child that is getting more and that he is spending more on he is not only your child but his also...

i think its sad that people are not willing to pay and support the children that they created. i had to fight my father for R1000 per month from when i was 17 until i turned 18. its just unfortunate that he cares more for his wifes kids then his own.

I have a very good relationship with my daughter and she spends every second weekend with me. She was born out of wedlock although her mom and I lived together for a few years. I currently pay for all her school fees, stationary, after school and extracurricular activities. I cover her medical expenses 100% and even the shortfall should there be any. On top of that I contribute R300 p/m for his lunch box, R100 p/m for any unforeseen school expenses, R200 p/m towards clothing and R400 p/m to contribute towards his living expenses. I am earning a bit more then what I did when her mom and I were still living together, and she just milks me for more. She claims that it is my duty and she doesn’t earn an income because she is a stay at home mom for her new hubby and kids…

I have a 2 1/2 year old and I pay between R5 000.00 and R10 000.00 per month and i battle to get my visitation rights and she does not work and has not since he was conceived. No matter what you pay the children are used as a tool / weapon for their own manipulative reasons

Other things to remember – Additional / extramural activities.
Determine how much / how many activities you want and / or are able to pay for and agree to that amount for those activities. Deal directly with the club etc and pay directly for said activities yourself.
The parent wishing to have little Johnny or Mary attend 7921 different activities per day then becomes wholly and solely responsible for all financial and logistical obligations around attending said 7921 different activities. As father 4 justice we question the validity and whether attending every conceivable activity available is truly in the best interest of the child.
Where a child displays a particular interest / passion for a particular activity we actively encourage both parents to jointly finance and support the child in that particular activity.
Please keep in mind that maintenance does not equal contact and vice versa.
Additional info
What if he won’t pay?
Importantly, the biological father is responsible for the payment of maintenance for the child, regardless of whether he chooses to apply for parental responsibilities or not.
If there is a dispute between the child’s parents about maintenance, the matter has to be dealt with by a family attorney, social worker, social services professional or other suitably qualified person. This applies regardless of whether the child was born before or after the commencement of the new Act.
What does this mean?
It doesn’t matter whether the parents are married and they conceive a child, or whether they marry after conception and before the birth of the child: they’re both equally responsible for that child. However, nothing has changed as regards to the law concerning minor children.
Contact F4J on www.f4j.co.za for more support and info.

Good day. I would like to know what i can do to make my ex pay more maintanance? For the past year he is paying R400 per child, ages 6, 8, 13. I earn a salary of R3960 pm. He earn a salary of R15000 pm plus commition. I went to the maintanance court in december 2009, the maintanance court head asked him a few questions, sead to him that i am suing him for R700 per child per month, she asked him if he can afford that, he replied no. She then asked him how much can he offer me, and he replied R400 per child per month, the same amount he is paying the past year! She then said to me, well MRS, UP TO YOU, TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT, HE CANT AFFORD MORE! How is it possible that when a mother really in need of help with the law, just get no assistance. How is it so easy for a man to just be relieved of all fatherly responsibilities? Myself and my new husband are struggeling supporting 6 independants, with a combined income of +-R8000, and my ex whom earn a high income, only support himself, have no responsibilities what so ever exept himself, are just being relieved of all major responsibilities!!! While my worries are what dept i can afford to pay this month and how much food can i buy, if any, he worries about what car can he traid the old one in for, and how much money can he spend on girlfriends and partying! He need to take responsibility with me as i did not consieve these kids on my own!