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Nanny nightmares
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#1 Posted : Wednesday, January 27, 2010 10:26:03 AM(UTC)
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My child's nanny just didn't pitch up after the holidays, then 2 weeks' latersent me an SMS saying she is staying in the Eastern Cape. now I am struggling to make arrangements every day with neighbours, interviewing nannies and having to take time off work. Believe me, my boss is not very happy about me misisng work so early in the year, but what do I do about my child? Is it really so imposisble to find a nanny I can trust. I really thought I could trust the one who left - I wish I could sue her or something for all the trouble she has caused me by just not rocking up. Has anyone got a foolproof way to find a nanny that can be trusted?
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#2 Posted : Wednesday, January 27, 2010 10:42:35 AM(UTC)
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Sorry about your situation. My wife and I have had so manny similar problems with nannies that we just decided no more! We decided the little one wil stay in creche and the older ones will stay in after care at school till we knock off at work. Not ideal, but hey, we had enough of nannies just failing even to let us know they are leaving.
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#3 Posted : Wednesday, January 27, 2010 11:16:59 AM(UTC)
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It's an age-old dilemma and the short answer to your question is "no, there is no foolproof way to find a trustworthy nanny". You could either try the trial and error route in the hope of eventually finding someone or you could try placing the child in daycare. The most successful method in my experience is to go the daycare route and have someone come in once a week or so to do the cleaning. if your child is a bit older and/or you have the budget, add on an au pair to do all the other stuff: fetch from school to go to sports/ballet/whatever..
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#4 Posted : Wednesday, January 27, 2010 12:42:55 PM(UTC)
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I thought we had found a trust worthy nanny, always on time and great with the kids, until on afternoon I came home early to find her in bed with my husband! seems like she was enjoying her job way too much....
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#5 Posted : Wednesday, January 27, 2010 2:18:13 PM(UTC)
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Shame. I can believe it must be difficult. I have just found an organisation who works over most of Gauteng who assists in finding trained nanny's/housekeepers. They do charge a placement fee but the nanny is qualified in childcare, babycare, firstaid etc. They are called First class Domestic and Childcare. Give them a shout 071 324 9848. They also work very closely with the labour department in training up existing nanny's etc!

Good luck!

Tasja
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#7 Posted : Wednesday, January 27, 2010 3:15:36 PM(UTC)
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you get what you pay for. Do you have an employement contract with the EX nanny? Does not sound like it. If not you deserve to be left high and dry - stop taking short cuts it only causes trouble down the line!
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#8 Posted : Wednesday, January 27, 2010 5:16:22 PM(UTC)
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I would like to be a nanny. Am a white women age 40. The business I worked for closed down November last year and to get a job, thats a nightmare. I am staying in Boskruin, Randburg, if any one is interested. I was in a car accident where I lost my only child. I cannot have another due to all the injuries, and I love children, toddlers ect.
My personal email is malitza7533@gmail.com if any one wants to contact me. Try me.
Staying in a house and am Afrikaans speaking, first language, and also English, second language.
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#10 Posted : Wednesday, January 27, 2010 5:16:48 PM(UTC)
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Even if there was en employment contract there was not much this poor mom have done. I suggest maybe going through an agency (it costs more but at least they do some of the ground work ito interviews etc and most of the nanny's have done some training).


I found myself in the situation (with a contract in place.) and there wasnt anything I could do, after having spent a fortune on training the nanny.

GOOD LUCK,
khomotsom
#11 Posted : Wednesday, January 27, 2010 5:43:52 PM(UTC)
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Eh? No need to be sad about it. I have been through almost 30 of them and everytime i think i found the right one, she doesnt come back. No reason ,no explaination. You can let her sign a contract, but that will cover you only in the even that she takes you to CCMA. The fact of the matter is! if she wants to leave, she will leave ,contract or no contract. They are uncontralable and dont care.

You can try the agencies, but most are quite expensive . they require about 10-15% of annual salary, but make sure you can a reputable one cause there are fly by night agencies out there. Find a domestic website also has some but whatch our on who you hire? Its deficult to know whether they are reliable or not?
The best option , get someone thats linked to someone e.g ask your neibours nanny, ask cleaners ar your work, ask your friends domestics, ask your colleagues domestics at least they can be traceble

A good nanny or a domestic worker is God sent. I have tried different ages, culture, nationality but all behave the same. Just pray to God that one day you find an Angel. And be carefull some act ennocent but are evil. My friend recorded her nanny shouting at her 6 months old baby' calling the baby all this swearing words because she was crying.

Hang in there,
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#12 Posted : Wednesday, January 27, 2010 6:07:59 PM(UTC)
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Most of you woman unnecesarily shout and mistreat these people when you are frustrated with your husbands, bosses and all that. Then you come here and complain about not finding a good nanny. If you are one of those, it suites you well. Stop mistreating this people while they take care of your most precious God given possesions, (Kids). Look deep inside yourself before accusing our mother/sisters of all sort of things.

We have a wonderful Helper who for the past couple of years she has been trustworthy, loyal and all. As a man, 37, I, at one stage thought maybe my wife might have had an issue or two with her but no. She is about 50 and she is always go the extra mile and we appreciate the good work that she is doing.

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#13 Posted : Wednesday, January 27, 2010 6:13:28 PM(UTC)
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Just dont try , Marvellous Maids , we did and the lady let in armed robbers in the house and tied up my wife and stole 200K worth of goods
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#14 Posted : Wednesday, January 27, 2010 6:23:05 PM(UTC)
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I have a great au pair. That's maybe the better route to go. They average around anything between R30 to R60 an hour. Make sure you draw up a good contract and you're away.
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#15 Posted : Wednesday, January 27, 2010 7:07:16 PM(UTC)
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I have just had my daughter return to england with my two beautiful grandsons. What a wonderful time I had with them. I miss them terribly. Maybe you should try find someone like me to take care of your precious baby. Someone who loves children, can stimulate them mentally and provide a good clean environment for them during the day. A day care mum who needs to fill the void by nurturing a little one once her own children have flown the nest. Easy to speak to neighbours to find out what kind of person you would be leaving your child with and be prepared to take the child to the day care mum rather than one come to your home. Just an idea.
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#16 Posted : Thursday, January 28, 2010 11:13:40 PM(UTC)
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If you invest in your nanny she will probably invest in you and you don't have to invest money, just time. Treat her in the same way that you expect to be treated at work and chances are you will recieve a reciprocal loyalty to your family. Spend at least 10 min a day finding out about how things are going rather than beings ships that pass in the doorway when you're on your way out and she's on her way in (and vice versa). Think about how soul destroying it must be to work in a place where there is no guidance and direction and then when things go wrong there are rants & raves.
Train her - if you can't afford to send her on a course or two, take an hour out a month and show her something new - your cultural point of reference is likely to be totally different to hers. She will feel she is really making a difference if she is doing something with your child that you want her to rather than guessing her way through the day.
If you can't send her on a course, teach her first aid and emergency procedures so that she's confident she can deal with your child if there's a problem.
Teach her to cook what you would like her to feed your child rather than assuming she knows how. Most people want to please and they can only please you if you've let them know what you like.
Be considerate but firm in understanding her family responsibilities - in the same way you would want your employer to treat you although you need to give some kind of leeway - 3 days of family responsibility leave doesn't go very far when it takes 3 days to travel there and back.
Relationships are give and take and a lot of people don't "give" (and I'm not talking in the material sense) to their nannies / domestic workers. A bit of s risk I'd say when they're looking after your precious ones.
There will always be the one that doesn't come back from leave - but this is not a domestic worker thing - it's a human nature thing, in the same way that people in a commercial environment don't give notice to their employer and just leave but the better the relationship the harder it is to do that kind of thing.
And then also consider that someone in the Eastern Cape is probably supporting an extended family so their problems may be bigger than you perceive and if something has happened that there is no-one to look after THEIR child, they just may not have an option but to stay there. In which case limit your losses and employ someone closer to where you live.
I know how you feel, I've been in your space but when I looked at the problem behind the problem I figured I needed to do some changing too. Good Luck.
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#20 Posted : Friday, February 05, 2010 12:18:15 PM(UTC)
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Funny that... we DID invest in our nanny. Had a fair and rather generous contract in place, observed the labour law, had UIF and a financial investment plan in place for her... She was part of the family. We supported her when her daughter went into labour at 3 in the morning. We provided her with all the love, care and support one would give your own family. And all we asked was that she followed a routine with our children, which we thought she did... Until we discovered, totally by accident, that my two kids spent the ENTIRE day in front of the TV and she didn't do anything with them. Today, six months later, my son is in therapy because of all the inappropriate material he saw on TV and I recently heard from a neighbour how horribly my children were treated, only because she met our new nanny and thought she was such a gem (they're out there). But because of one individual, we are paying every day!
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#21 Posted : Saturday, February 06, 2010 12:34:10 PM(UTC)
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It's not easy to find a good nanny. Been there, done that. My children are four and seven years old. My boss's child-minder needed a job she is elderly (67-years-old) and I was told "All she can do is iron and iron, she can't cook and I don't need her my kids are grown up". I took her on and I have never regretted it. She is an angel and she loves my girls they love her to bits. She plays with them.., if there are problems I don't shout and scream. I write a note or tell her when I come back from work. She really does "iron and iron", I cook, clean the loos (no I am not crazy...), load the washing machine and let her put the clothes out to dry. Then she cleans the stoep and vacuum cleans the house. My thinking is that it's all team work.
Looking after young children is difficult and tiring. I pay her a good salary - she has built herself a second house from the salary I give her. She has a grandchild in school she has a family to support and is the only breadwinner.
It's just for a season that I have to live like this, one day my kids will be older and I will rest I will not need to have a child-minder/nanny. I have a full time job - as a doctor in a busy public sector hospital. The trick is time-management and discipline. Also treat the nanny like a human being and allow her to be part of the family. I tell her how much I appreciate her and I mean it. My boss needed her back at the end of last year and she refused to go. Some people are loyal..
She gets a pension in addition to the salary I give her (I checked with labour and they said that is fine, no problem no UIP needed).
When you find the right person (and you will) make sure you go through the employment contract with her and that she signs it, keeps a copy for herself. Also all payslips in duplicate and she must sign for them each month you'd be surprised what happens when they walk out.
So hang in there one day your little ones will be all grown up and won't need a nanny anymore.
Leboneoratilwe
#22 Posted : Tuesday, February 09, 2010 2:34:12 PM(UTC)
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I agree that one day kids will grow up and the stories you are telling now will be real stories not nightmares. I have changed nannies I don't know how many times and the one that I have now seem to be sweet, she is only a month with us now. My daughter loves her to bits. she even sleep with her in her room and my son seem to be reluctant because we've had too many different Nannies in a short time.

Even though I know that my son is very, very and really naughty, I know she has to put the rules down and discipline but I feel she comes out harsh sometimes. Talking to and with our helpers helps because at the beginning you might not know or even see the bad ways of handling children from them because you are mostly not at home and only later you realise that your children's wellbeing is at risk.

Let's talk to our nannies and let's not keep them away and make them part of lifes, this is when they start feeling they are just there to earn a salary and nothing more. If we allow them a little space in our lifes, they do feel as part of the family and they end up loving our little angels to bits and feel very honoured to be part of our families.

I agree it is really not easy to find a good nanny, it is out of luck to have a nanny staying with you forever if possible. my sister's nanny has since being with her for 9 years now and does not understand why I change nannies so much. hang in there sisters, one day you will only relate.
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#23 Posted : Friday, February 12, 2010 2:59:19 PM(UTC)
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Hi

Each to his own , i fyou chose to go the nanay way that is fine.But there is alot to be said for a good creche .The trick is to find an excellent one -whihc is what we did , where the ratio of staff to kids is 1:3 or less.This way , not only are the kids stimulated they also have company of their own age.I would now never leave my child with a nanny.Especially if the nanny is doing housework as well-hat is the child/children doing while she does all that ?
I agree with previous reader -find an excellent daycare (and they ARE out there believe me) and have a maid come in a couple of times a week to clean.I found with my own son who is now 3 -his speech is incredible he is socially very well adjusted and happy and he is never lonely!

Mom of toddler son
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#6 Posted : Sunday, February 28, 2010 11:19:30 PM(UTC)
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Guest wrote:
Shame. I can believe it must be difficult. I have just found an organisation who works over most of Gauteng who assists in finding trained nanny's/housekeepers. They do charge a placement fee but the nanny is qualified in childcare, babycare, firstaid etc. They are called First class Domestic and Childcare. Give them a shout 071 324 9848. They also work very closely with the labour department in training up existing nanny's etc!

Good luck!

Tasja


This can not be true ... this woman if you can call her a woman Karen Westphall is a scammer. She states that he staff is police clear ... this is false ... she places illegal immigrants ... she claims her staff is trained ... this is false ... she is treating the domestic staff very bad and is very rude to everybody ... I know of many people that had a very bad run in with this woman ... stay away .... I also contacted the church where she operates from ... they undertook to remove her but clearly the devil is still doing its work there. If you need any info ... call Ina 082 412 1978
Sugar and Spice Nanny Training
#26 Posted : Monday, March 08, 2010 8:55:50 PM(UTC)
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Unfortunately this is the reality of most employment contracts, they certainly favour the employee. Saying that, it is still far better for a young child to be raised in the security of their own home for the first 2 years, so keep on trying. We in SA are blessed to have some wonderful women and men looking for work and the majority really want to keep their jobs and do it well, often they just need real hand holding and guidance for the first few months. Then once they are settled they need regular feedback on how they are doing. I know the horror stories of nannies leaving babies crying etc are many but there are far more stories of children being very happy at home with their loving nanny. In defence of placement agencies, the majority of reputable agencies do in depth background checks on their applicants and many do police checks too. If you are looking for some that I would recommend have a look at the Sugar and Spice web site www.nannytraining.co.za I have them listed.
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