I am a Divorced male and my 13 year old daughter and 11 year old son lives with my ex (primary caregiver). I pay more maintenance than I have to and still my ex is not paying school fees, after care fees, proper clothing and food etc which is included in our maintenance agreement.

My daughter is going to high school next year and my ex has asked me to pay the R10000 outstanding school fees(which I have already paid over to her in the form of maintenance) otherwise she cant get her into the school we are planning to send her to. Problem is, I do not have it

If the mother is working then very simply put she needs to over the next year pay the difference / short fall. In future you deal directly with and pay directly yourself all service providers i.e. schools, extra mural activities.

Contact Fathers 4 Justice on www.f4j.co.za for additional assistance.

She is irresponsible if she is wasting their money. My Ex pays for the rent since he sold the house we lived in and never me a cent from the sale of the house, he also sees to their schooling and he gives them their montly allowance. Everything else food, clothing, repairs to household items, garden maintenance, domestic help, I pay. He owns his own business and I never ask him for any extra money for anything.

Man alive! You are being taken to the cleaners. I should know. I'm a single father (primary care giver) and my daughters mother doesn't pay 1c towards upbringing, school, clothes. Nothing. Even if she did, that money is supposed to be used to pay school fees etc. Maintenance court is free. Summons her so that she can tell the court what the money is being spent on. No matter how she juggles it she still has to use that money on the children and nothing else.

I think he should take the children and look after them then he doesnt have to pay maintenance and he can see how much it costs to bring up children!

If you read the school fees contract, most schools states that school fees are responisibility of BOTH parents and overrules the maintenance paid on a monthly basis. So take advice and get your maintenance reduced in court and pay your half share of school fees in the future.

If you can't afford to send your daughter to an expensive school then you will have to send her to a cheaper one. If this isn't acceptable to your ex, then she must put in the difference herself. If she can't afford it either, then your kids will have to learn to cut their cloth according to their (parents') means.

I was in a situation where the mother wanted R8000-00 per month for a 6 year old boy. The problem was that she did not even earn that amount per month. What (both) parents seems to forget is that child MNTCE in calculated or determined by the amount 1 parent spend towards the upbringing of the child per month. What also needs to be consider is what was agreed to betwwen the parents during custody and the final consent papers.
Should the agreement be that 1 party is liable for e.g medical aid, school fees - that amount cannot be included in the mntce per month. That is entirely seperate. Giving you my situation.
Consent paper - I agreed to keep him on my medical aid, school fees would 50/50, he spends every second weekend and every second Tuesday with me. School holidays 50/50.
Now at the mntce office I insisted that she show proof of her income and expenditure. You are only liable to the cost of the upbringing of the child and not her expenses. - Thus I am liable for the medical aid, 50 % of the school fees and then paying R1000-00 per month. Apart from this - when he visits me he don't need to bring cloths with as he has his own room and cupboard with his clothing. I made sure that there are sets of school clothing on both sides (this is a great help). I 1st had problems when it came down to collecting or dropping him after his visit with me. Come Sunday evening she is knowwhere to be found. Now if he must be by me the weekend I fetch him from school and drop him there the Monday morning as well. same happens for the Tuesday. He goes to school as per normal with no extra bags and no more worries about collecting him.
At the end of it all some advise - keep all receipts of your expiditure towards the kids and remember, if she wants or ask for let say R2000-00 per month let her give proof of the expenditure for the amount towards the child and not HER expenses.

I pay for everything for my two boys medical aid schooling stationery school clothes all extra's for school and maintanance on top off all of that I know i am getting the short end of that stick .My ex wife does not work but she does have a life partner
CS

RE: Guest at 11:27. If the divorce decree or the maintenance order state by name the person responsible for school fees, then that person is responsible. The school can try to take a legal route to force the other parent to pay, but 'most' have failed (there have been 1 or 2 cases where the court has decided that the other parent should pay)