Nothing would have prepared me for the challenge I had to go through giving birth prematurely. I knew I'd give birth prematurely as I was expecting twins. so at 32 weeks they were less than 2kg each and off course had to be kept in NICU. I didn't see my boys until the next morning. Feeling all anxious that morning, I decided to go and see them alone before my partner arrived. So many emotions went trough my head - I felt so confused because I just fell in love with those angelic beings but couldn't help but cry at the same time as they looked like they were in pain with all the monitors on their tiny fragile bodies. I was in pain from he emergency c-section, they looked in pain too - I didn't want to go back there. It took a lot of persuasion from me partner to go back. After the second visit, I felt free to go again and again and it was no longer scary. I would just sit there take turns at starring at them while asleep.
During their 4 week stay at the hospital I was re-hospitalized for a c-section gone bad -it became septic. I was under observation for an extremely long week of which I was in isolation. This meant ''no contact with the babies'' I couldn't go inside the nursery in which they were kept. I was shattered. My boys needed their mother and their milk, I needed to bond with them. Nothing but prayer got my partner and I through this difficult and yet important milestone.
During this time, I discovered I wasn't alone in his journey. Many mothers go through most of what I went though (preemies for Africa website had a forum for moms like me). I was mostly thankful that their stay in the hospital gave me the opportunity to heal so I could nurse them better at home and during this time they also grew quite a bit and therefore I had no anxiety of caring for them once at home.
I look at my boys today at 5 months and they are so grown happy and healthy
