my daughter aged 5 does not want me to consider having a new partner/ special friend
its 5 years since the divorce
and lonesome..........
she lives with her mum, and if the truth be told i jealously guard the precious care and contact time we have
so a partner will be an intrusion or an additional demand
and may well feed into her feeling less secure and feed into further conflict especially with her mum

blended families also are too much of a stress
should i just exist for access, live a life of celibacy
[very hard... and inclined to pay for nsa when really desperate]
which is physically ungratifying and emotionally void

From someone who comes from a broken home i can tell you that keeping yourself away from finiding a fulfilling ADULT relationship is going to do you more damage than good.

When i was younger i was also very jealous of my moms boyfriends and she generally kept us away from them and we didnt meet the people she dated.

When i was 10 she introduced us to a man and i can tell you there was DRAMA! my sister and i were very mean to him, very jealous...but this did not stop him pursuing my mom. And my mom realised that she needed someone special in her life.

20 years later i can tell you i am SO happy she met this incredible man as he changed our lives and is the best step father a girl could ever need/want.

Never mind the impace he had on my sister and myself. he changed my mom. Love does that. she was happier, she was more carefree and less stressed.

Finding a good partner is hard. but when you do. introduce her slowly to your daughter. they will develop a bond over time and all your lives will be fuller for it.

GOOD LUCK

although a 5 year old should not be dictating new emotional/ physical attachments...i hear you my brother
each situation being unique , and dependent on your personal value systems..... but positive committed responsible parenting
and setting an example you would like emulated should be pivotal

i am in exactly the same situation.... and just DONT date.... though i have a few close platonic female friends
it kinda lends a balance until such time as i can trust another partner again and the relationship is stable
and until i am sure that there will be no negative impact on my kid....but there never is a guarentee is there

reckon, i will be getting old alone too like guest above...lol
perhaps we could swap walking sticks, and hold hands whilst we walk through the park in a couple of years time...lol

the nsa pay for s%$ option remains open ; but is that really going to make you feel better
or like the responsible dad to a daughter...... just think if that was your own daughter or a trafficked individual
but thats a personal choice

theres lots of info on the net on blended/ step families
and when to know if youre ready

like most self help eeasier to read and dish out advice than take it yourself

i say just relax..when you least expect it the time will be right and the right one will walk in

good luck