a case of role reversal and gender equality.......????
its hard to survive of a single income
perhaps his home maker role can be extended into a home industry enterprise of sorts
or find out what exactly is the problem with his reluctance to seek employment

one has got to hear his side, but personally.... as a man i WANT to suppport my family and
fullfill my responsobilities, and no matter the political economic or social situation
i would go out and make some money..,,,


as you say ,"He is a good dad and a wonderful husband, but some times i think i should leave him."
DONT!!!!
work it out.......... divorce is far more disastrous

I am a single man. Can I tell you how affirmative action has taken away every white man in this country's hopes and dreams. There is no work out there for us. I left the commercial world and it took me 5 years to find a job. We are an endangered specicies. I feel like a broken man in the working world and so is your husband. Women and people of colour now own the business world. We have no power. Married men do not have the power to look after their families. The next step could be to end his life. Think of that dear wife?

after a year the poor guy is probably given up. it doesn't seem as if you two talk about the issue that much. perhaps you should talk and set some deadlines for him to achieve i.e update the CV by Friday, send it to X amount of firms/companies by next Wed etc. as a guy i know how he might be feeling, distraught, unhappy, discouraged. maybe he's given up. but when you say lazy, is he picking the children up from school, cooking, cleaning, keeping the house tidy? is he getting exercise or does he live like a 17 year old?

if he's helping in the house, he's not being lazy. don't be too harsh on the guy, talk about the issue...

Dear lady,
I am sure that you want a divorce due to your husband not being able to get a job. As you must be aware there is no tree where one is able to pick a job from. Jobs are very difficult to find anywhere in the world. I apply daily for work and it rips you apart everytime they come back and say no, the reality is if you do not get a reply in 2 weeks take it as a no. We live in hope still. You are fortunate and count your belssings. You have children, a husband and You, You have waht most people dream about, find another way of dealing with your finances. You may find a husband that has a job, but then your entire income would have to go to family therapy, your children will know that your love comes with money. Try think this through long and hard.

I have been in a similar position to your husband but granted for only 6 months. I promise you now during that time i very much wanted to support my family but i felt down and rejected. It is very hard to look for a job when you get rejected often by agencies or companies. Your morale hits an all time low, you feel like a failure to yourself and your family and you get caught in a rut that is very difficult to get out of. It also doesn't help having a wife saying "why can't you find work etc." Don't divorce or leave him, it will only make things worse for both of you and your kids. Instead talk to him about how he feels and see if you can help in any way. Keep him motivated, exercise with him a bit and make him feel important and special. Trust me it make a big difference to him and he will want to achieve. Good luck.

go ahead and leave him, it shows that women value money more then anything else.

and whats the big deal about having to support your family on your own? sounds like you are more then happy to let your husband do that, if he was working, while you just contribute here and there...no pressure. but as soon as the roles are reversed, time to moan and whine when the pressure is on. what happened to women complaining that its a mans world and that things arent equal? "we want equal job opportunities, equal pay...etc" well you've got that, so woman up and look after your family.

Did you mean only for better and not for worse?

Only for better. You should get your exit strategy right. Get yourself a dashing boyfriend. Catch him with pregnancy. Divorce husband. But try and have him kill himself. die in a drunk drive incident. That way you can get money out of him. Remember, he is only good for something if he is good for something.

Why should men absorb all this nonsense wheresa women can`t.If it was you out of work,,your loving hubby would tell you to take it easy and would on top of it give you a monthly allowance to go buy your stupid makeup and still take you uot for your bloody entertainment.I am waiting for the time the Japanese will be making a decent lady robot and have some competition.

you guys have no idea, what going on that household. i've been in this situation for over 3yrs now. a mom of two toddlers, oh make that 3 children, if you count my grown up husband. He thinks that doing the washing once every so often is "helping" enough. Because of all the rejections etc he has become clinically depressed but refuses to take the meds he tried for a month. he claims they don't help. He did a stint as a bar manager/bartender and working those hours killed all communication, as i work a full day and him an almost full night. Now after 6 months of that job we have nothing in common except the children. He has become hard, short tempered, has no patience whatsoever and no lust for anything. all he wants to do is make money but no ambition on getting off his butt to do so.

I have, as you may of picked up, become hard and completely resentful that he has put me and the kids in this situation where every month is a struggle. i have taken on two jobs now and am stretching myself very thin... he still lives in the same house but not with me.

I got some good advice, a pity it was too late. I thought at that stage well let him do his thing and get on with it, but when you blink again a year or two have passed. the advice was to sit and talk and make a deal: you both need to feel needed and both need to feel like each of you are coming to the party its doesn't have to be financially but then at least emotionally. if you work all day, he should take on the role of house-husband, to relieve your stress when you come home. relieve the money pressure by having the kids come home early and not stay at aftercare etc. by the time you get home he should have kids bathed and dinner ready. (he would expect the same if you weren't working) (praise him for this, its different for guys we need to praise every little thing they do or they don't feel like they've achieved anything) this was our deal but it was too late. he was already too depressed to get out of bed most mornings and it just deteriorated from there.

What i am trying to say is. give the guy a choice you can live with, either he comes to the party that he and you are comfortable with and/ or move on... life is too short to create all this tension, your kids might not understand now but they will and your husband just might get his butt in order. Whatever you decide stick with it, indecision will only eat away at you.