Wow what a range of opinions! I agee with getting the toddler taming book, my son (3) was just the same and the techniques in the book worked wonders!

I know this sounds like new age babble but I believe I need to respect my child as an equal human being. I want to EARN his respect. He understands there are consequences but he also knows mommy loves him.

This balance is by no means easy, it is the most difficult thing I have ever done, bearing in mind I am an auditor and a qualified CA. before I started consistently using the advice in the book, I felt like I would rather be in a board room full of men quizzing me on technical jargan than face one of his tantrums! so I do understand.

But I have found consistantly applying the time out approach and bing firm but kind and NEVER EVER hitting out of anger and fustration seems to work really well. He understands why his behaviour is not ok and a repeat performance is unlikely. Yes, pick him up and put him in the naughty corner, don't let him hit you but I very seldom find it necessary to smack.

He respects his mom but not because I am a barbarian that using physical violence and intimidation to elicite good behaviour, but because he understands that there are consequences for bad behaviour. surely that is what you want to teach your child about the world? Not that violence lets you get what you want.

I also try to understand that he is 3 and have realistic expectations of what is behaviour should be and the situations I can expect him to cope with. Going to a 5 star restutrant with a 3 year old is asking for trouble, but I do expect him to behave at a friends house.

Really, get Toddler Taming, it is an excellent book and if nothing else it will let you know what is normal behaviour and why they do the crazy things they do.

If nothing else the best words form the book are "if you don't have an audience you don't have a performance" and that works for a child who is 3 and a husband who is 30.

Sometimes easier said than done though. Good luck!