My wife's parents are driving us crazy. We had a baby on January this year and they have not stopped demanding that we leave her with them. We have absolutely no intention of leaving her anywhere, including my parents, just for the heck of it. There will be plenty of time to bond later, surely - we already agreed that each grandparent will get their turn once we think she is old enough. They are just refusing to wait. They alreayd got to babysit twice, my parents not even once. We see them almost every week or whenever it suits them to arrive unannounced and then they focus only on our baby and keep making comments about her staying with them. I feel like a sperm donor........my wife's also stressed to the max.

And then when it comes to a time when you have just had enough and want to go and jol and want some alone time, then they are good enough right?

I don't see why we have to be forced into this. We are not keeping them away, they see our little girl almost every week and have babysat before. My wife and I made a choice to have a child and don't go jolling. We are both in our forties???? We have been very accomodating to them but they want to be the only ones to babaysit and nag us constantly to go out and leave her with them.

To Guest who posted at 09:01:17 AM: You clearly have issues about this so perhaps create your own post to vent your anger?

Jeez, guest @ 20 September 2010 15:37:11 - you've really got issues, haven't you?

I didn't see Darryl calling ANYBODY evil.

Don't project your own problems on to other people - all Darryl wants is a little space. And so does his wife.

Obviously you have the same mindset as the grandparents in question - so have a GOOD look at how uncomfortable it makes people around them, and how unwelcome your actions really are.

Babysitting my child - like it would ever happen - is a privilege I would grant only to somebody I could trust completely and utterly.

So Darryl allowing his in-laws to babysit is giving them a privilege and an honour - but it DOESN'T change the fact that it is not the grandparent's RIGHT to demand that privilege. THAT is where the problem lies.

Try to work it out, Guest @ 21 September 2010 13:48:54 - one of the biggest problems in society nowadays is that people can't distinguish between rights and privileges.

They have the right to see them - but NOT unsupervised, and NOT if I, the parent, say not. Babysitting my children is a privilege that I do not grant to ANYBODY.

You have wilfully misinterpreted the entire issue under discussion - which only means you are either unable or unwilling to read and understand things properly. That's a childish game.
Go back to the top of this thread and read the OP's posting with an OPEN mind.
Maybe THEN you will understand what the issue really is.

So much for your sad little (amateur) and selective interpretation of the Children's Act - the Act is about the RIGHTS OF THE CHILDREN! Get that through your thick skull.

Only the child and the child's parents have the right to decide with whom the child will interact. Particularly, whom the child will be left with or entrusted to for any period of time.

Work it out.
Babysitting and 'seeing' a child are two ENTIRELY different concepts.

Or don't you get it?

Entertain, don't enetertain - it's immaterial. "Babysitting" is not "SEEING" a child, it's having the child in their unsupervised care.

Work it out - if you can...

Darryl I think it comes down to whether your in-laws were "over-bearing" before you had the baby or whether it only started afterwards? I think anyone can understand that the arrival of a grandchild must be an enormously exciting time for a grandparent - perhaps they simply don't realise their behviour is affecting you and your wife? it certainly seems odd to me - a lot of parents battling sleep deprivation are only too happy to accept help from people they trust with their child and generally grandparents fall into this category -maybe they think they're making it easier for you by offering and hinting I also fail to understand why your wife is stressed out? surely, if they're her parents she should be able to articulate that you need space?

The bottomline: they have no right to demand anything of you, but they are family and I just don't see the sense in withholding access - especially since they're acting out of love for their grandchild - unless you have valid reason for doing so. C'mon man, have some compassion - if you're both in your 40's they've been waiting a loooong time for this baby! :(

Good luck

Here's what happened to me: Like the OP I was not happy leaving my babies and toddlers with their grandparents. I was over-protective. However, the grandparents saw their grandchildren every two weeks when they were babies and toddlers (for supervised visits). This was not good enough for them. They started a crusade against us. This crusade lasted 10 years until one of the grandparent's died. I thought it would end there but I was WRONG. Now I am being demonized for not leaving my babies and toddlers with them. However, I was framed. Once the toddler got to the age of 3 or 4, she was not interested. She was only interested in having them when they were small babies/toddlers. Once the children were over the age of 4, she went out of her way to avoid seeing them. The rest of the family do not know this. All they know is that "You did not leave your children with her = You are evil." I offered her unsupervised visits when the toddler was 3 years old but she was never available during the day-time, only after 3.00pm or 4.00pm when it was not convenient for us because we were fetching the other children from school. The toddler then liked to play with his siblings when they got home from school.