Hey, you, your partner, and your children are a family. You don't need ANYBODY else to make your family complete.

Let the rest of them all go to hell, or wherever it is that they like to irritate and annoy each other. You don't have to allow it, endure it, or even consider it. Unless, of course, you like being a victim...

Hi there

I'm also from a big,blended family so I'm well aware of the potential for drama! I must say though that I wouldn't swap them for anything and love the benefits of being from a big family.

In your situation I would write them all an email - with addresses visible so they can see exactly who else is reading - and outline the issues. Be brutally honest- about the kids and the adults and base your actions on the response. If people are genuinely prepared to leave their issues at home, be adult and tell the kids to shape up or else then by all means spend the holidays together.

If, on the other hand you've tried this before without succes or people get offended and choose to take out their frustrations on you without adressing the real issues, well then you've got your answer: go away with your partner and kids and savour the peace and quiet.

Also consult your hubby and kids: if on balance they find the joint holidays enjoyable - great. If not, do what works for you guys.

I have similar issues, with my Mother - in - Law being the most manipulating person i know, plays hectic guilt trips on my wife coz we dont visit often enough!

Now i have put my foot down, I will not go their anymore my wife is more than welcome to go and visit but as far as i am concerned, my wife and Daughter are my immediate family.

that is why i stay in AUSSIE and my ex wife and her family stay in S.A.

I guess I just want to find someone in life who can appreciate me for me not hate me because I am not good enough or smart enough or I do not have enough of this and that, and stand up for me and my son, not to weak to stand up for his family, I am sure life goes on, and I am sure I will find a good husband one day, one that will stand by me for the rest of my life. Why do men cheat, and then he blames all on you, let me tell you because they know they can, get out do not even think twice of going back, especially when he tells you to your face, O I will appreciate it if you do not speak to me at all, what kind of man says that to his wife, I will tell you a true coward. I know that me and my son will be happy in life, and if I never hear from my soon to be ex or his mother as well, that will be to soon for me, , but unfortunately life doesn't work like that.

I gave up a while back, you can only do so much in life, and if it is done, it is done. I am already starting to make new friends, and I think the disappointment of someone just messing up a marriage especially with kids, that is just pathetic in my eyes, why waste someones time and dreams and hopes and live a lie, I guess that is just how some men are, but not all men are like this, I know of men that is sweet and willing and would do anything in life for their families and wife's not like the one I have, and there I thought I knew this man. I just want to get out of this house.

You can only do so much, and the rest would be up to him, but he never responded or fought for me, so I decided that you cannot make someone love you but just move on.