My 4 year old son was raised by my parents. They never potty trained him, i moved back to them January 2010. I got a new job and decided to put him in cresche with his 2 year old suster. They started to potty train him, but now he refuses to poo in the toilet, my parents also refuse to discipline him. He screams at us, telling us he is going to hit us. Please help as im scared he is never going to come right and when my parents are not there one day i am going to battle with him.

Believe it or not but not wanting to poo in the toilet is quite a normal phase. I assume he only wants to poo in the nappie? I suggest you go somewhere where there is no access to a nappie and when that happens explain to him that there is no nappie he has to use the toilet. From then on it normally works.

Behaviour problem. Well its quite simple really. You have been absent from his life for a few years. He doesnt listen to you but listens to the people that has been caring for him. If you are still living with your parents sadly this will not get any better if you do not inforce it. If he does something you do not like give him a punishment, when the punishment is over explain to him why he got the punishment then he must apologise. If he refuses he gets another. Anyways you have probably heard this millions of times before but you HAVE TO STICK TO IT. Yes it might seem that it doesnt work in the beggining but i promise it does. Follow it every time.

Im sure there is a reason behind you not being there and a good one at that. But its going to be a rocky road ahead. I also suggest that you spend as much time as possible with him. Because when you move away from your parents he only has you and you two need to have the best possible relationship in order for him to be happy and feel secure.