Does ANYONE know of ANYONE that has EVER been prosecuted in terms of Section 35 of the Children's Act of 2005/2010?

I Know someone who has been charged in terms of section 35.1 & 2 of the said act.

There is no doubt she is guilty and she is concerned for what the sentence might be - we know the maximum sentence is 1 year or a fine, but what can she expect?

First offence and so on....

Section 35 has to do with "Refusal of access or refusal to exercise parental responsibilities and rights".

Well, several women have spent weekends in jail as a result of refusing access. They described the experience as 'radical' and 'life-changing'. Probably a little understated, given the chaotic state of lockups in this country...



I doubt your 'friend' would need more than a weekend in jail along with the prostitutes, drug-mules, street-hawkers, and the like to reform her ways. But I'm sure the state would be (or SHOULD be) only too happy to give her an initial 6-month sentence in order to broaden her horizons. And deservedly so...

She is one of the root causes of the problems that face divorced fathers in this country, and one of the main reasons why attorneys and lawyers live so high on the hog, profiteering from the impoverishment of law-abiding fathers whose only sin is to love their children enough to put up with their ex-wives' revenge-driven behaviour, and the concomitantly endless and senseless litigation that results from that aggressive mindset peculiar to ex-wives, purely so that those fathers can maintain contact with their children, no matter the cost, financial OR emotional.

Personally, I hope the judge makes an example of your 'friend' and gives her the maximum sentence possible, with no possiblility of reprieve. It's time that an example was set so that ex-wives stop abusing the law to punish their ex-husbands.

Because the bottom line is this: Contravening section 35 of the Act is child-abuse in the eyes of the law. And NO parent, regardless of gender, should be allowed to get away with child-abuse of this type, nor should they receive only a light sentence for abusing their child(ren). Such "parents" must be punished to the fullest possible extent of the law, and be seen to be so punished.

Dear DeadManWalking

Section 35 of the CHILDREN’S ACT NO. 38 OF 2005 [ASSENTED TO 8 JUNE, 2006] [DATE OF COMMENCEMENT: 1 APRIL, 2010] reads - Refusal of access or refusal to exercise parental responsibilities and rights.—(1) Any person having care or custody of a child who, contrary to an order of any court or to a parental responsibilities and rights agreement that has taken effect as contemplated in section 22 (4), refuses another person who has access to that child or who holds parental responsibilities and rights in respect of that child in terms of that order or agreement to exercise such access or such responsibilities and rights or who prevents that person from exercising such access or such responsibilities and rights is guilty of an offence and liable on conviction to a fine or to imprisonment for a period not exceeding one year.

As Fathers 4 Jsutice we endorses the full might of the law against any parent irrespective of gender to be punished severely. If this was to happen on a regular basis then maybe, just maybe the game playing and blatant emotional child abuse would stop.
We implore you to help your wife seek reason on the matter as she is currently emotionally and psychologically destroying her child.
The child has the right to have a relationship with BOTH parents irrespective of the parents past history, and current behaviour of one or both parents.
If you and our wife require additional help and assistance please feel free to contact Fathers 4 Justice on www.f4j.co.za
Best regards

Gary Da Silva
NATIONAL COORDINATOR & PUBLIC RELATIONS MEDIA OFFICER
FATHERS-4-JUSTICE SOUTH AFRICA

Dear Deadmanwalking,

I believe that you are trying to do the right thing here, so I'll try to keep my personal feelings out of this. My son and I suffered very badly at the hands of his mother, who pulled the same tricks and showed the same defiance for the law, over a period of some sixteen years. Being impartial will be very difficult for me, but here goes:

From experience, I can tell you that what you're seeing your wife do is just a symptom of other, deeper problems that have to be resolved. There is obviously a lot of unresolved anger in her right now, and the best way to deal with that isn't to ignore it - she needs professional psychiatric help, and she needs it FAST! Obviously, you cannot force her to see a psychologist or a psychiatrist - and even if you could, a lot of problems like this are CAUSED by certain psychologists and psychiatrists who have their own axe to grind, and lack the ethics and morality to transcend their own personal problems in their professional life.

However, you need to ensure your wife understands that her behaviour in this matter very simply but very clearly constitutes child-abuse. Interfering with the right of the child to have free and unfettered access to the other parent is now (FINALLY!) seen by the law as perpetrating child-abuse. Child abuse is nowadays and with extremely good reason taken very seriously, and could be pursued as a separate offence, over and above her refusal to accede to the provisions of Section 35 of the Act, even though that is her initial transgression.

Point is, the 'reasonable man' principle employed in law, when determining the reasonableness of any action, will be used to gauge your wife's behaviour - and it will be asked: "Would a reasonable person, who professes to love their child, perpetrate child-abuse on that child?" I think you would agree that the answer should be a resounding "NO!", hence your very real concern for your wife's continued welfare, particularly to avoid incarceration. Jail is NOT a very nice place to spend even one weekend - ask any father who has been arrested on trumped-up charges under the Prevention of Family Violence Act... In this case, however, incarceration would be for real and valid reasons, making it even MORE unpleasant. Inmates don't take kindly to fellow-prisoners who are there for child-abuse...

Be that as it may. Your wife is a sick person. She has allowed her bitterness and anger to override her better judgement, and to threaten your marriage. Do you have ANY idea how difficult it is to maintain a marriage when the one partner goes to jail, or to maintain a 'normal life' thereafter when the one partner has a serious criminal record? Just buying a car or furniture becomes WAY more difficult... Not to mention that any aspirations you or she might have to serve the community, or her application for any positions with fiduciary or other legal responsiblities will forever after be tainted with suspicion?

I reiterate: Get your wife some professional help, and get it FAST! Perhaps, in the meantime, you could even invite the father over to come and spend time at your house with the child - anything you can do to avoid your wife being arrested and imprisoned, or to mitigate the harm she has already inflicted, would be helpful.

I can honestly and wholeheartedly sympathise with the poster who wants to see your wife punished to the fullest possible extent of the law, and "be seen to be so punished", but let's face it: that isn't going to undo the damage she has already done to the child; it isn't going to undo the damage she has (in actual fact) inflicted upon herself; and it isn't going to stop other, sick and needy women from doing the same thing - she is obviously NOT acting rationally, and telling her about other people who went to jail for doing precisely what she is doing obviously doesn't seem to be helping her, and by extension won't help anybody else in her position. Most importantly, punishing your wife in this way will affect YOUR marriage, and you will, effectively, be punished for HER actions - try to get that particular point through to her. You, as the innocent party, will be the most affected and the most hurt, and all for nothing.

Perhaps a good psychologist or psychiatrist, or even your family doctor or your minister could be prevailed upon to help her see reason. Whatever you do, don't forget that the REAL victim here isn't your wife. It's the child. Children are helpless in the face of adult manipulation - and perhaps it is time you stood up and told her "ENOUGH! STOP your buggering around, and let the father and child spend time together!" - just remember, you don't actually have very much time left if you want to help your wife.

Bottom line: the CHILD needs your help most of all - if you can help your wife through helping the child, all well and good. If not, then your first duty is ACTUALLY to the child.

Sorry if I'm not giving you a step-by-step solution to your problem - but without standing in your shoes, I cannot even begin to guess exactly how to do what you need to do.

All the very best of luck - you're probably going to need a fair bit of it!

Regards.

Thanks TOM and everyone else for the invaluable device.

I AM trying to do what is in the best interest of the child (as I have 1 of my own) and I have steadfast moral values.

At the moment it seems I will end up on some divorce forum :((((

She makes allegations against this man (I know not to be true) and is, in fact, trying her best to alienate the child from his father.

She won't listen to any reason and will not go WITH me to a professional nor the church. Each time I raise the subject, there is one hell of an argument and I can see the child suffering even though I do my best to comfort him - a child, really, has only one father though.

With the aggrevating circumstances, she will probably end up in prison. The way I see it: the trial is only a few months from now and if she continues this - the sentence will be more severe.....?

I think best for me is to file for divorce. I love her dearly but cannot live a lie or become part of her abuse. I also perceive myself as an accomplice to child abuse if I allow this to continue.

I do not want to testify against her - I really think my only option is to file for divorce. Fortunately we do not have children together.

Tom - Can i ask why did your ex prevent you from seeing your child?

Quick question: my sister is an unwed mother to a toddler. She is going to mediation under Section 21 because the father wants some access rights. She has tried several times to draw up a plan with the father but he refuses do so because she insists that if he wants to see the toddler, then he should contribute towards his upbringing (i.e. maintenance). But the father refuses do so saying that he cannot commit to maintenance! My sister has consulted with an attorney and he won't even supply his bank statements. He now tries to pay R500 every month (not always on time). My sister wants him to pay regularly to show that he can provide for my niece when she (niece) stays over with him. Added to that, he doesn't have a permanent cell phone or address - he either stays over with his mother/ girlfriend. My sister doesn't want to let my niece stay over because she is not confident that she will be cared for properly (meal/ bath times etc) and is not certain who will care for her during the day. There's no doubt that the father loves my niece but a child needs a lot more than that. My sister would prefer for the father to have visitation rights. She says that she will let my niece stay over only once she is able to speak full sentences - otherwise she cannot articulate if she is hungry etc and whether she was taken care of. It's a sad situation for the baby girl - she definitely does need both parents but what are my SISTER's options in this situation.

Thanks cozawebdesign.

It's a horrible situation... :(

Actually, Mediation IS mandatory - tell her to write and sign a letter that says she refuses to attend/consider mediation, and have your son take that to court. That letter would be worth more than the best lawyer in this country.

The Children's Act specifically provides for mediation, and people refusing mediation CAN be prosecuted criminally - if, of course, the courts do their job properly. This is not always the case, but thanks to F4J things are changing. For that reason, get your son to contact F4J and find out which attorneys they recommend. Sometimes, the attorney will be able to 'help out' and advise whom to see to facilitate justice being done.

The bottom line is that the mother is being unreasonable, and she is in contravention of specific provisions of the Children's Act. The court must only be shown that she is refusing mediation, and your son will most likely be awarded joint-parenting privileges - perhaps even primary care. The time for women to abuse the legal system and get away with it, has passed.

What the mother is doing here is flouting the law, relying on your son's financial predicament to prevent him from pursuing the matter legally. However, he doesn't REALLY need a lawyer to enforce his rights - provided he is prepared to read the Children's Act, get to know the provisions thereof, and be able to quote sections and references in support of his case. A lot of work, but worth it.