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Need advise on how to handle rebelling teenager :(
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AClarke
#1 Posted : Thursday, March 03, 2011 11:31:57 PM(UTC)
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AClarke

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Argh! Where to start!!! I have what use to be an awesome little boy!! We changed his school and he is happy there *fitting in well* etc.. However he is changing for the worse!! We caught him watching porno (got punished for it and vowed not to do it again till he was of age) now I found out that he smoked *says a few but he stopped* and drinking - I dont believe a word that he says about stopping any of it! He is telling me what he thinks I want to hear to get me off his back - plain and simple! I checked his school books for almost an entire term - his books are a mess and he has hardly done any work in them! I am really struggling to find the right way to deal with this without him retaliating against me, but I just want the best for him in life!! I know all teenagers try things etc, but I want truth, as if he gets caught in all this - he is going to get into trouble else where as well, and he has only just turned 14 years old!!! I dont want the situations to get worse and doing worse things and I dont know how to punish him - I have spoken to him nicely about all of this - and I have taken the harder approach on tough love, but both of these well, get me nowhere!!
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gary
#2 Posted : Wednesday, March 09, 2011 3:38:58 PM(UTC)
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gary

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AClarke wrote:
Argh! Where to start!!! I have what use to be an awesome little boy!! We changed his school and he is happy there *fitting in well* etc.. However he is changing for the worse!! We caught him watching porno (got punished for it and vowed not to do it again till he was of age) now I found out that he smoked *says a few but he stopped* and drinking - I dont believe a word that he says about stopping any of it! He is telling me what he thinks I want to hear to get me off his back - plain and simple! I checked his school books for almost an entire term - his books are a mess and he has hardly done any work in them! I am really struggling to find the right way to deal with this without him retaliating against me, but I just want the best for him in life!! I know all teenagers try things etc, but I want truth, as if he gets caught in all this - he is going to get into trouble else where as well, and he has only just turned 14 years old!!! I dont want the situations to get worse and doing worse things and I dont know how to punish him - I have spoken to him nicely about all of this - and I have taken the harder approach on tough love, but both of these well, get me nowhere!!


It is not only your child. Children all over South Africa and even in the world are the lost generation. They have no hope for a better future. With the help of the TV and movies they became zombies living for the day and do not care for tomorrow.
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ben
#3 Posted : Wednesday, March 09, 2011 4:02:59 PM(UTC)
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ben

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The smoking will disappear soon. Then MAYBE oneday he'll pick it up again.
The drinking...hmm. Have a chat. I got drunk the first time at 14 too. Meh...

Now the porn...Do not! I repeat! DO NOT!! Come between a 14 year old and his porn!! You will die! Maimed at best!

School work....


Yeah I don't know. Seems like you got yourself a normal 14 year old boy.
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HennieN
#4 Posted : Thursday, March 10, 2011 9:30:33 AM(UTC)
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HennieN

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Hi there,

Just remember that you still have an awesome boy. He is just "gaining" experience in the things of the world. What is needed from you as a parent now is to not control him, but rather to coach him.

The first thing to do is to get your trust and respect back from your son. I know this sounds hard, but it is true.

I have a friend that I can recommend that is specialising in helping parent "getting" their children back. Have a look at www.kensway.co.za.

You can just mention to Ken that Hennie referred you. (Best part is that your medical aid will pay for the workshops).
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georgia087
#5 Posted : Wednesday, February 22, 2012 1:31:05 PM(UTC)
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You can maybe start disciplining him by taking away his stuff if he does something wrong. Be firm and don't get in a fight. When your calm you think better. After that, maybe talk to him and explain to him why the punishments are being implemented. They will eventually understand why you are doing this to him.
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