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marcoza
#1 Posted : Monday, March 28, 2011 2:19:07 PM(UTC)
marcoza

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Hello

My wife and myself have been trying to have a baby now for the last 2 years with no success

We have been to the fertility doctors at the Sandton MedFem Clinic. It was discovered that my wife had poly-cystic ovaries and she was operated on to remove/reduce these. We were also both prescribed glucophage which we have been taking religiously but still no success

My wife is getting really depressed as she is getting older and worried that time is running out, she is currently 34. To make matters worse all her friends who are younger are now having kids. It kills me to see her come back in tears from Baby Showers. I wish there was something more that I could do. I don't know how to keep her positive or what to tell her. I am prepared to keep trying as long as it takes but i fear I think she thinks if it doesn't happen so it never will

We can't keep going back to the the fertility clinic endlessly as it is a huge financial strain and just to be told that everything looks fine and just keep trying and to not have results is aggravating to say the least

We are constantly trying to opt for a healthier diet and loose weight as we have identified this as a possible cause for our lack of success

We are lost as to what to do next and are thinking the Invetro is the next step but this is also very expensive and not guaranteed to succeed

Any advice welcome

Thanks
natasha.c
#2 Posted : Friday, April 01, 2011 6:22:40 PM(UTC)
natasha.c

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I really feel sorry for your wife, we are in the same predicament, I also have PCOS, it is a B**** to deal with, sorry, but there is no other word for this terrible thing we have. Maybe find articles or stories of woman with PCOS who did fall pregnant, it lifts the spirits a bit and gives us that inch of hope we need.

We are now trying to follow the low GI diet religiously...I'm also on glucophage, but might have to go off it, because it might be causing side effects for me :(

Other than that, the day we do fall pregnant, and I know how we did it, I'll share advice ;)

I'm currently on centrum materna, and hubby is on Stamina-Gro.

O ja, buy the living and loving, they have a few things on fertility in there this month, one of the things I saw was acupuncture helps apparently...

One thing thats helped me, is also to enter loads of baby competitions, buying the living and loving (moms pack from pick & pay)(this month you get a free baby dummy) ;) and just keeping on believing that you will have your little bundle soon!!

I know how hard it is for her, because I went through a very rough time, but with time and lots of support from my hubby, I've come to a stage where I can kind of handle it...

I know the feeling of baby showers, I just see a baby and I get this tight grip in my heart, but at least now, I don't cry any more, I just feel heart sore, but move on, because I believe if I keep on praying and believing in my dream that we will have our little bundle.

Give your wife an extra tight hug from me, she might not know me, but we are in the same boat!!
MamaCool
#3 Posted : Friday, April 01, 2011 10:25:54 PM(UTC)
MamaCool

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I feel sooo sorry for you. My husband and I tried to have a baby for 10 years and the doctors only found a few small things to "tweak". We tried everything under the sun, but mostly followed a top fertility specialist. Eventually we decided enough's enough and that we wanted to share our wonderful life with a child. Any child. No more ego of having to have a kid looking like us or wanting our genes to be continued. We went to a few adoption agencies (mostly fantastic social worker NGO's) and found one we loved. We applied for a healthy coloured baby, created a portfolio for the mom to choose from and 4 months later we go the call to collect a 10 day old boy. The joy, the joy! He is now 3 and the most amazing child ever. His adopted sister is now 18 months old. Both are sharp, beautiful kids. We have a few friends that have adopted one baby as they love the idea and have one biological child. A win win. You will love both the same. Believe me. I now cry for the wasted 10 years of my life, waiting and suffering every day, waiting for that perfect pregnancy. Life has so many facets. You can choose to be happy by following a different path, but you first have to reach that point of "till here and no further". Good luck on your journey.
marcoza
#4 Posted : Monday, April 04, 2011 3:43:01 PM(UTC)
marcoza

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Hi. Thank you for the replies. Yes it is really rough on her, having that maternal instinct and not be able to act upon it. We have decided to change our diet drastically and start following a low GI diet plan for a couple of months and see what happens after that. Adoption is definitely not out of the question although ones own child is definitely first choice if possible. One thing for sure I am not going be wasting another R1500 visit to the fertility doctor only to be told everything looks okay so keep trying. I also think stress has big part to play in it so stress management and relief is also important. I love my wife as is and don't think any less of her but am not sure whether telling her that would seem cruel
marcoza
#5 Posted : Monday, April 04, 2011 3:43:51 PM(UTC)
marcoza

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Can you suggest a good low GI diet that we could try?
evaneyk
#6 Posted : Wednesday, April 06, 2011 3:30:28 PM(UTC)
evaneyk

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Hi Marcoza

Can't help with anything, just want to say strongs for you guys - my sister and brother in law have been trying now for four years (i think) and also still no success. Remember that the brain also plays a big part in these situations. Maybe, if you try not to try (hard as it iwll be), you will be blessed with a beautiful baby. Strongs for you and your wife!
SandraW
#7 Posted : Thursday, April 14, 2011 3:27:39 PM(UTC)
SandraW

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Hi Marcoza

I can understand your frustration. I have only been trying since Oct last year but am also struggling with insulin problems. I am on glucophage 2x500mg at night and have just been started on Inafolic (says it is for treating PCOS and insulin problems). Last month my natural cycle had to be cancelled as my folicles did not develop properly-they say it is the insulin. I also seem to think it was as my diet was schocking the last month......chocolate cake most days, not eating often eating the wrong food. They have suggested that I also clean up my diet. Patrick Holfed (spelling????) has a book on low GI foods and receipes. Also exclusive books has loads of books on Low Gi.

Stress definately plays a part i the whole process. I am seeing a accupunturist that specialises in infertility and it is fantastic. My moods have been regulated and i am able to not get as worked up.

Good luck and Ill be holding thumbs
Bee
#8 Posted : Tuesday, June 14, 2011 2:56:49 PM(UTC)
seven77

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Good luck, just be there for your wife and understand and hugs and don't stop trying. Nothing worse than someone tell you that you are paranoid and obsessive.........

I am holding thumbs for you sooo much hope we all get what we want in life a little person to love and look after.

In the mean time I am keeping myself busy with spoiling my niece and it helps a little thought it will make it worse but it helps for me.
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