BlessedMom wrote:If you and your ex were constantly at logger heads, did mediation help? I try to discuss matters of the child with my ex and just get nowhere. It lands up with him not weighing up the options and wanting to totally control the decision with constant threats etc.
Have any of you gone the mediation route and what was the outcome?
I don't want a friendship with my ex, i would just like him to approach all decisions in an adult way without the control and spite.
Yes I have used mediation with success. I would highly recommend it.
My ex and I were involved in two legal cases - divorce and later custody. The custody case was settled through legal mediation with the proviso that we then had to enter further mediation re details of maintenance, education etc etc. I think we went three times and it got better each time. After that the first time we were not sorting something out well between us, just the suggestion that we would then need to take it back to mediation put us back on track.
The presence of a neutral third party ensures both parents are more likely to remain in adult mode and to keep focussed on the issue at hand. Then in addition the mediator can guide you both to following a good process for making decisions. A process which you can use yourselves afterwards.
It has been many years since we had this assistance. Since then we have helped the children make decisions re high schools and tertiary studies as well as dealing with emotive medical emergencies. All successfully settled.
I wish you well.