I am a single parent of 3 kids. My oldest daughter just told me she is pregnant and I really dont know what to do... Please help.

Hi Tracy,
Sorry to hear that. It must be so painful to have to hear such such news. Your daughter must be so scared and being a single parent isn't easy (my mom was a single parent) having to deal with this all on your own. I don't k now what to say but you need to hang in there and not be too angry at your daughter just now she feels she needs to so something very drastic.
There are options available but you need to think them through very carefully. Hope it works out for you guys.

Hi tracy,

The good news is this is not the end of the world. My mother was 14 and pregnant with me and I think I turned out ok.

The best thing you can do is support your daughter. I was adopted straight after birth and raised by loving parents who gave me every opportunity that my mother would not have been able to. My mother finished school and started a new family on her own. After 26 years I found her and we have a great relationship now. And she feels no regrets on her choice.

So whatever you do, make sure you support and advise her with nothing but love in your heart.

I think thats just about one ofthe worst things you could hear as a parent. I have a 14 year old and it will devastate me hearing this. First of all, this constitutes statutory rape. She is in no way, shape or form to be a parent as she is still a child herself. I am sorry to say but if it was me in that situation with my daughter, I will no doubt take her for a TOP instantly. Children have no business having sex let alone falling pregnant. The man/boy responsible will also have a lot to answer for as well sleeping with a 14 year old. Just too horrific to think about.

I specifically registered so that I would be able to send a reply to this post. As a woman who gave birth to her son when she was only 14 years old herself, I felt I needed to comment. I can only tell you what my parents did for me and maybe you would be able to learn from it. I was just a child myself. We both were. We thought we were in love and we thought we knew everything. Like all teenagers. It truly was the darkest time in my life. BUT my mother carried me through. My entire family sacrificed so that I could keep my child and stay in school. Yes, it was extremely difficult. My parents were labourers with low-paying jobs. The guilt I felt for disgracing them and adding another mouth to feed to our family, is what drove me to succeed academically. Today, I have a tertiary education and a job that affords me financial independence. None of this would be possible if it had not been for my mother. Firstly, my mother left the decision to keep the child up to me. Secondly, she gave me a choice to remain in school. Those were hard times. I literally lost all my so called friends. But I also made some new, life-long friends through the painful process. Once, I decided to keep my child, my mother made sure that I would be responsible for the child. I had to wash nappies after school. I had to get up early and take the child to day-care myself. Nobody would baby-sit so that I could do homework at night. If he cried at 2am I had to sit up. If he was sick, I had to go to the clinic in my school uniform. Deal with the scorn of the nursing staff and then go back to school. I asked my mother a few years back why she did not help me more and she said that if she had to take this child and raise him herself, then I would not be the person I am today. She said that she needed to make sure that I learned and grew from that mistake. Of course, now I thank her. I thank both my parents for what they did. My son is 21 years old today and I am 36. It was not the end of the world for us. He is truly the light of my life.

Hi Tracy
Having been there, also pregnant at 14, I know how your daughter (and you) must be feeling right now.
Your feelings of shock, anger, disappointment & fear for her future are all normal.
She's probably feeling afraid, confused and disappointed in herself. What she needs from you, most of all, is knowing that you won't abandon her.
Whatever decision she makes, it has to be her choice; it's not something you can decide for her.
There is no easy answer to this, abortion, adoption and motherhood are all valid choices, each with their own pros and cons - there's no right answer that fits everyone. Find out as much as you can about each option, do some research, know that completing her education is still very possible and it doesn't have to be the end of the world.
Of all the things a parent could be faced with, including HIV, drugs, depression, suicide - this is not the worst.
She is still the same person, your daughter who needs you now more than ever.
Please feel free to contact me through our website http://youngmomsupport.co.za if you or she wants to chat.
It will be okay, I promise.