The WORST thing you can do is FORCE him to interact. I have 5 boys, the middle one was always shy and still doesn't like crowds but as he got older he got braver bit by bit.

I dont think that you should be too worried or make a big fuss about it. I am a very shy or quiet person from a very young age. Shyness is part of my personality, and I have learned to accept it. The more I got out in public and took very small steps in socializing with strangers it did get a little better.
The last thing you should do is to make him constantly aware of his shyness, and to say to him that it is wrong. Boost his confidence by letting him do things by himself. Next time you go to buy milk, take him with you and give him the money to pay at the till. Afterwards tell him what a great job he has done. It is very small things that can boost his confidence or break it. I now have a 2 year old son that is very extroverted, and will greet complete strangers, and he will make sure that he is heard.

Best advice!

Our 3rd (of five) is also the shy one. Just leave him be. If he is fine when it is just the two of you together and he is 'normal' when on his own, just let him develop his self confidence on his own. Whatever you do, don't subject him to anything that lets him think that there is something 'wrong' with him. Just continue to nurture him.

I agree with Nixi. I have social anxiety disorder so it could be that. In my opinion, he should only see someone if it hampers his development.


Good luck.

Hi there

I never post on this forum, and I only joined specifically so I could add my two cents to this discussion. I noticed your post when I was browsing news24 on my cellphone.

I am not a parent. I am 24 years old and I have social anxiety disorder. The description you gave of your child's behaviour sounds exactly like a description of mine at the same age. In the past few years, I have lost so many good years of my life to social anxiety disorder. I had to drop out of medicine at Stellenbosch University in my fifth year because of crippling panic attacks. I did not go to my matric farewell. I have never had a romantic relationship ever. I am practically a recluse and I have major depression and I am on three different medications and I have to see a very expensive psychologist. I was only officially diagnosed two years ago, and by that time, lots of damage had been done. Most people with social phobia will never go and see a doctor about it because we are too shy to do it. That is basically what SAD is: pathological shyness that completely limits your functioning as a human being.

It really does sound like your child might grow up to develop the same thing. I don't want to scare you, but this is what happened to me and I would hate to see it happening to anybody else with a future ahead of them. I know many kids are shy and turn out fine. I'm just saying: keep an eye on this. Or preferably go see a child psychiatrist. Do not take the child with you at first or tell him that you think there might be something wrong with him. Just get a professional opinion.

I hope eveything turns out well.