She can't do it, maintanence and access are two seperate issues in the eyes of the law. She can refuse yr financial support but not your rights as a father EVEN if you were never married. She's playing you, it's so obvious, you married like I am and my X wife tried the same rubbish with our daughter. "They" do calm down in the long run but it takes awhile and a good attorney....goodluck..oh and never try to reason with these woman, use an attorney.