Originally Posted by: "shmangle" 
NEWSFLASH!!! Most children are obnoxious.
Cr@p!
Children are what they are allowed to be. And they reflect what they see around them - they behave in the manner they see their parents/family behave, and push the envelope as far as is humanly possible. That, believe it or not, is their 'job'.
It is YOUR job as an adult to discipline the child and teach it to behave in an appropriate manner.
As the christians will tell you, "...Spare the rod, and spoil the child..." - the 'rod' not (necessarily) being a term for the administration of corporal punishment, but rather an euphemism for loving, caring, but firm discipline, which CAN include corporal punishment. And it's true.
Simply, if your children are obnoxious, then you are not doing your job as a parent. Don't blame the children - blame yourself. And don't paint all parents and children with the same brush - there are millions of sweet, caring, and perfectly lovable children out there. That you believe ALL children to be obnoxious points to the fact that you either don't get out very much at all, or your choice of 'partners' in socialising is pretty damn poor!
To demonstrate the puerility of your comment:
You can't draw a conclusion about
all or even
most children from the very limited number of children you could possibly have ever met or seen in your life. To classify a child as 'obnoxious' implies at least a passing acquaintance with that child, and their attitude to the world.
Fact: There are approximately 2-billion children in the world right now.
Fact: If you meet and get to know just 10 children every day of your life, from the day you are born until the day you die at the ripe old age of 90 (an impossibility, I grant you), you will only have met just under 33-million children.
Fact: 33 million children isn't anywhere NEAR "most children"...
Using the American notation (best-case scenario for your statement) where a billion is equal to 1,000-million (1,000,000,000) as opposed to the British notation where a billion is a million-million i.e. 1,000,000,000,000, (
click here to see an explanation) you would have met less than 2-percent of the world's children. And would therefore NOT be qualified to pass a generalised comment on "most children".
End of lesson.
Regarding the O.P.'s dilemma:- discipline is a very personal issue for parents - and there is nothing you can do or say that will sway the parents of your god-children from their chosen path. All you can do is 'disengage' and hope that something short of a major calamity will wake them up to the foolishness of their actions, before permanent damage is done. Fortunately, such 'experiments' in raising children generally only last a year or two before common-sense prevails.
Until then, watch from afar or risk becoming a part of the problem - any hint of disapproval from your side will only serve to bolster their parent's "it's us against the world" attitude, and help to prolong the agony. It's instructive to note that not one of the respondents on this thread (up until now, anyway) has agreed with the 'continuous instruction' concept - a very good indication that this concept is way past its 'sell-by' date, if ever it had one.
Sadly, you're not going to get the chance to be a 'hands-on' godparent under these circumstances. Or, at least, not a happy and secure one.
Keep this in mind, though: taking care of children who refuse to obey instructions without question, is just looking for trouble - should a situation arise where immediate and unquestioning compliance with instructions is needed (e.g. instructing children to exit the car when being hijacked, or to get out of the house when the kitchen catches fire), and the response you receive is "What? Why? I don't feel like it!", a tragedy will ensue. As in all other areas of life, only once mastery of the subject has been achieved, can deviation from strict adherence to instructions be permissible, and then only on the understanding that the individual is then responsible for their own safety/progress or lack thereof. In the case of under-age children, this is plainly and utterly nonsensical, and will lead to accusations of negligence and carelessness, should something happen on your 'watch'. You didn't create this situation, so cannot realistically be expected to accept responsibility for it - and if you continue to be involved to the degree you would obviously like to be, judging from the tone of your posting, sooner or later you will find yourself in a situation where these children's disobedience (questioning behaviour) could be extremely dangerous to both themselves and you - and as the adult, you will be held responsible for anything that happens to them.
Personally, and in a similar situation with the well-meaning but ultimately misguided mother of my godson, I simply said "Sorry. I cannot look after J under these circumstances. Perhaps when he is older, or you have found some way of disciplining him, I will be able to help you". The family emigrated not very long afterwards, citing many 'reasons' but most tellingly the complaint that "people in South Africa don't want to help look after J, even his own Godfather! People just don't CARE here!". Now, some 14 years later, the once-cute little blonde boy with dimples and a winning smile is a gang-leader in the U.K. with a drug-habit, living on the dole, with a criminal record - garnered for assaulting his step-father (who took him on unreservedly and without question when his own father decided alcohol was more important than J, and walked out on J and his mother) fir having the 'temerity' to suggest J get a job, who habitually carries a knife and boasts that he has 'cut' dozens of rival gang-members in turf-wars.
So much for 'nurturing creativity' and 'sparing the rod'...
Yet another wasted life.
And it could have been SO different, with just a little discipline from his mother and some obedience from J.