Millions, sadly Fathers-4-Justice site is on the dead side I came across a new site run by their members Section35.co.za. A father out of wedlock if he meets the criteria (pay maintenance, was in a relationship with the mother when the child was born etc. (and if you don't you can go to court to get these rights) have the same rights as a divorced dad, read the new children's act from section 21. She is not allowed to deny you visitation. You don't have to go see a lawyer you can write a letter to the mother that you want to mediate a parental plan, you can do mediation through a registered mediator, it depends where you live but in Jhb I think Family Life Centre is a good idea as they have two mediators sitting in with mediation but it can be a psychologist, a lawyer (very expensive), a social worker. Read up about your subject and read up about Parental Alienation Syndrome, Malicious mother syndrome, Hostile aggressive parenting and know the law. Knowledge is power and believe me you are not alone.