Based on a thread(or 2) I just saw I thought I should share my story
http://forum.parent24.co...ity.aspx?find=lastunreadAnd some in adoption_________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Hey, Now stand up and look at yourself, you need support, you need to be a dad to someone, you will be one of the best dads on the earth!!!!.
Now after reading a story about a guy being infertile and how his life has turned upside down and his wife as well as him are both urging to have a child one day. There are options available!!!
My story
Being about the same age as him, I was caught in a similar situation, however results are that things are the opposite in my relationship. Loving the woman in your life enough to work through this together is the most important thing to do.
DID the tests, went for step 1, 2, 3, and and and, however I always had my opinion that should we get to the point that it was starting to cost us a huge amount of money I would rather take that money and invest in making a life better for someone else......
Unfortunately (at that stage) things did not work out as planned and we had to take the alternative route.
We started visiting places of safety and foster homes to see if we could not at least get more involved in the lives of these children (We aged 30 at the time). Our options was easy, look who we could see a potential bond with (I had a potential son in mind, someone who I can go support when he play rugby, go ride off-road motorbikes with, ride his own bike, go hunting with me and and and). Needless to say my heart was ripped out of my chest when I ended up having the best conversation with a little girl (Then aged9), as if I was speaking to my own child. she really got stuck in my heart. (Now remember I had a boy in mind and only 1 child).
She introduced me to her little sister, a small quite child with fear in her eyes, probably the best manners I have ever seen in a child. Both these girls climbed into our hearts over the next few months. Knowing them better every day. being able to take them out for the day to just have something small to eat. Giving them the individual attention every child deserves.
We requested to take them on a holiday with us to see if they could adopt to our way of living and that we can actually fill their lives as well as them filling ours. We completed the forms , went for the interviews, and awaited response from the welfare. One afternoon on my way home I got a shocking call. Yes the 2 girls can go on holiday with us, however should we feel that we could not bond that on our return we had to drop them off at 2 different foster houses in the City.
(Getting that call @ 16:30 on the N1 was not funny!!!!!!) Sitting in traffic hearing this news, everyone around me could see that this big guy in his 4X4 cry like a baby...... HOW THE HELL COULD THEY DO THIS. Without consent from my wife, I said to the lady. You will not split up my children (WOW where did those words come from) The voice on the other side said to me , Sir, will you be able to take them in next week. (Remember we completed the forms etc etc etc and they have spend days with us, weekends etc. Bonding was awesome between the wife, kids and myself)
I answered YES I WILL, however I will not return them to any other house then mine. They will not be split up!!!!!!!
That day was the beginning of our perfect (Okay almost) lives. We are proud to say that we have 2 of the most beautiful children in the world. They are at school, they are in the top performers in their classes, active in sports, (I even know the rules of Netball now), active in church and the list can go on. They support us every step of the way, we support them with everything we have.
Remember it was not always moonlight and roses, however we have been told by friends that they have the same “phases” with their own children.
Having children is hard work, Being able to live with them, grow old with them and the life that you would never have seen, priceless
Go out and make that difference
Please raise your view, comment on this and I'm sure you can make contact with me should you have questions ar just need some guidelines