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Want to see my child after 14yrs
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charladonis
#1 Posted : Tuesday, September 20, 2011 4:50:42 PM(UTC)
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It's been 14yrs since i last seen my daughter.The mother and her parents decided that i wasn't good enough.
We did give it a go behind her parents back,but when they found out,she changed.she all of a sudden hated me ,didn't what anything to do with me,wouldn't acccept money or gifts.Her friends and my friends tried to reason with her but she just wrote everyone off that had a connection to me.i still today don't understand.i was 24 at the time i think.If i did something so bad,what the hell was it.she refuses to communicate.i recently sent her a letter when i found out she was a Sunday School teacher.I explained to her in detail that all i wanted was for my daughter to know i'm her father.but she never replied.there is so much to say but this basicly where i'm at.
What do i do next?Who do i go to for help?I don't know what she has told my daughter about me.I'm lost and there are time this really gets me done and affects my marriage.I got end this.Does anybody have some ideas?
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lmapheto
#2 Posted : Wednesday, September 21, 2011 4:00:00 PM(UTC)
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Dear Sir,


You need to contact the Office of the Family Advocate and they will help you for free...dont ever be a coward when it comes to your own children it doesnt help...children are generally forgiving to their parents who are just like you...but what you need to do is act now and dont wait for 14years...forget about anybody else ne?


PS: I dont feel sorry for you...i am just giving a friendly advice
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Jakob
#3 Posted : Wednesday, September 21, 2011 4:44:34 PM(UTC)
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well, ur her father, u have just as much right to c ur daughter as her mother is allowed to c her.
refusing to let ur own daughter not c u, is selfish of her. its shows u who the hollow one really is, i say go to where u know u'll find ur daughter, like church, or sunday school and tell her in a nutshell what really happened, and that u don't wanna live in the past, and if she want to go to bfast or something, just to talk or something. i mean u can only blame urself if u not trying, and u cannot let someone stand in ur way, because her mother opened her legs and it takes 2 to tango, so she cannot be selfish and silly because God gave her life and the child has her own choise if she wants to know her father or not, not her mother.

good luck and God blessBoo hoo!
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Cheeky C
#4 Posted : Wednesday, September 21, 2011 5:46:33 PM(UTC)
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You say she is a Sunday School Teacher? Try approaching the priest of the church and work through them.
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cin8
#6 Posted : Thursday, September 22, 2011 7:50:45 AM(UTC)
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I come from a broken home and didn't have the privilege of having my dad around. However, I will say this: It doesn't matter if you haven't seen her for a day, a week or years. She will always be your little girl and you will always be her daddy, ask me, I know! Some words of advise: Be the caring parent that you want to be; keep contact with her, whether it be a call, an email. We girls thrive on calls from our Dads! Enjoy every moment with her, talk ask questions and only give advice when asked for it. Be there for her, it's the best you can do for now, and this relationship that has been in limbo will grow and prosper. God Bless! Angel
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Lloyd
#7 Posted : Thursday, September 22, 2011 8:39:25 AM(UTC)
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I would take the advise of what the other people have said on here. But if I was you before attempting to arrange a meeting with your daughter I would first sit down and write her a letter. She may refuse to meet with you out of awkwardness and because it will be emotional for her. However a letter is one way communication and it comes with no obligations, no terms and conditions and no awkwardness attached to it. She can read it in her own time. She knows she may also choose to not read it but as you are her father I guarntee you she will read it word for word. Writing a letter also helps you collect all your thoughts and allows you to put them down on paper. Where as there maybe be things that you you want to say but forget to say if you were to initially meet her face to face. By writing her a letter you can be sure you get everything across. I would sit down and begin writing and if it takes you a week to write and is 100 pages long then so be it, I gurantee she will read every word of it.

I was in a similar situation where I refused to speak to my own father for a long time. But there is always opportunity for reconciliation. I hope things come right for you.
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Nixi
#8 Posted : Thursday, September 22, 2011 8:52:00 AM(UTC)
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My advice to you is like this: FORGET about EVERYTHING that happened before now. Wrong or right, guilty or innocent, who did what, who said what, etc etc. From this moment on build a bridge every minute you can. Don't go barging into your child's life unless you are willing to STAY there. Not just till the novelty wears off or until you take up a different hobby. IF and only IF you really want to have a bond with this child then start now being the man she can count on. If she needs a lift to class = DRIVE the 100 miles to do it and expect nothing. If she is struggling with something BE there. DON"T talk to her about the past it had NOTHING to do with her that ALL the grownups in her life were thick. Most of all be pray for her.
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charladonis
#9 Posted : Friday, September 30, 2011 6:48:03 PM(UTC)
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Hi Guys.Thank you very much for the response and advice.
I will definetly take all them .i will keep you updated on the progress.
thanks once again to everyone.
love you guys.
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