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"Mom, I'm gay"
Robi
#1 Posted : Tuesday, November 15, 2011 9:58:12 AM(UTC)
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If your teen were to sit you down and tell you this news, how would you react? What would you say?
Tom
#2 Posted : Tuesday, November 15, 2011 1:40:30 PM(UTC)
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No problem.

The sexual orientation of my child isn't exactly a deal-breaker - the day my children were born, I loved them. I loved them even when they (each) vomited their food all over me. I loved them when they were sick. I loved them when they were well. I loved them when they were full of sh1t. And I loved them when they were perfect little angels.

So why should it be a problem if any of my children bats for the other team? There are enough miserable people out there, trying to pretend they're something they're not. There are enough stupid people out there denying their own desires and urges. Why would anybody, who loves their child, want their child to be unhappy by pretending to be something other than themselves?

Nah, this is a non-issue - I chose to have children, and I knew there were no guarantees about anything. Sexual orientation is the LEAST important of anything to do with a human being. I would just be glad that my child loves me enough to tell me about everything in their life.
Scott D
#3 Posted : Tuesday, November 15, 2011 2:27:14 PM(UTC)
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I guess I'd have to chat with them about what that means, and find out how to support them. From what I've heard, there are many issues involved in "coming out", and they'd need plenty of love and support.

If they decided that, then I'd be the last person to fight with them about it- I'd need to be there with them and help them navigate a difficult time. School would be difficult for them- their peers could potentially target them for bullying.
Kuhle
#5 Posted : Friday, November 18, 2011 7:16:05 AM(UTC)
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OMG Tom, my heart just melted.

Perfect perfect answer!!
100003067060743
#6 Posted : Friday, November 18, 2011 11:07:55 AM(UTC)
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I've read a few articles about sexual identity which suggests a child develops their sexual identity by the age of three.

There is however no evidence to suggest there is a 'gay gene' or you were 'born that way', despite a great deal of research (more than 10 years into genetic research), so I can't help but question whether there is a choice in the matter.

I went to an all boys school where there were constant name calling and if you didn't have a girlfriend or didn't have stubble etc, you were called a 'fag'. Even good looking people would be lead to believe they're ugly if everyone tells them they are, so I've no doubt this may have affected some boys. Sexual abuse also can play a huge role in determining sexual orientation. I also know of girls who had relationships with other girls, but ended up in happy heterosexual marriages.

If any of my children were to believe they were gay, I'd start off by reading up on a lot of material about the topic, from both sides of the argument. I'd recommend 'Bringing up Boys' by Dr James Dobson which was quite enlightening. I only recommend this because whatever decision you take, you may have to live with it for the rest of your life. Whatever you choose, make sure your decision is not based on what outside people may think. In other words, do not force your child to be 'straight' because you worry about social dogma, not should you tell your child to be 'gay' because you fear you might be called a 'homophobe'.

That said CLEARLY becoming angry at them or acting in any non-supporting way is the wrong way to go about doing it. Love your child no matter what as I'm sure you will do. We all just want what is best for our children and I agree with Tom, love them no matter what they choose to do.
Shezzie
#7 Posted : Wednesday, December 28, 2011 2:14:45 PM(UTC)
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Question, has any parent below been told from their child that he/she is gay?
No parent will know how they will react.
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