Hi, I have to add my 2-cents worth to this non-debate!, since this is a highly relevant topic to my husband and I at the moment. We are expecting our first.

I was pretty surprised to find out that his company followed the Labour Law guideline of 5 days total family responsibility leave, including funerals, sick child etc. I can understand that it is at each company's discretion as to how much extra they are willing to give, but my husband's company prides itself on being a leader in its industry (technology field), and on recruiting the cream of the crop. I would have imagined they could compare with the likes of ForwardSlash, which I know offers 2 weeks paternity leave, although also numerous other great benefits. His company is a one of mostly males in their 20's to 30's. a) They are not forking out much on maternity leave (few women), b) the general employee will not be having more than 2 kids in the time they're at the company, c) they supposedly value their human resources so highly, d) their general benefits are not exactly leading - nothing is offered in the way of year end bonus - I earn more than my husband once profit share is taken into account and I don't even have a post-grad degree, e) their growth has been phenomenal. Hence, this came as rather a disappointment that they don't recognise a new dad's need to be involved with his family through THE most life changing event, in the way of paternity benefits.

I just feel that it is up to the big companies to lead the way towards more progressive thinking and more relevant benefits that support better societal values. I'm glad we're not the only ones who think this country is behind the curve. It seriously shocks me that 3 days is it. What this country needs is more emphasis on and respect for family values. We can talk about back in the year dot, but we have a lot of negative things in society right now due to the breakdown in family structure and values from the previous generations. I am pleased to see how my generation are doing things differently - men being far more involved in family life, couples working more as a team in how they create their family life, and finding solutions to work around all the challenges we face, like most families needing both partners to work. Why we would want to keep things the same as in the past I have no idea!!

My husband has not taken a sick leave day ever as far as I am aware. I feel that at the very least men should be entitled to use some of their available sick leave for paternity leave.

Yes, babies primarily need the mom, and are not dependent on dad at first. But what about mom? We work right up until the time we give birth, birth itself is often traumatic, we're thrown into the task of being a new mom, we're often faced with things like post-partum depression, sleep deprivation, etc, without much of a support system, have to go back to work ASAP as the family needs the finances. It would just be nice to have hubby at home a while longer while we weather the changes together. There is a lot that a dad can do to help and make the transition a smooth one in the early days, and to get family life off to a great start.

I am convinced that the negative comments on this board are from those who have either never had, or don't intend to have children, or are kidding themselves that they had the best experience, and are kidding themselves about the state of their relationship.

If companies like my own can be generous in how much maternity leave they give, I just see it as unfair how men are expected to go back to work immediately, like nothing has changed, with no acknowledgement of their role. So much for gender equality and all that. Yes, he can take his annual leave, but annual leave as far as I'm concerned is leisure time for rest and recuperation, not for family responsibility. Yes, having a baby is our decision, not the company's, but when companies claim to be people centred etc, you would kinda expect that they would honour family life in meaningful ways like this. A couple of extra days in lieu of sick leave for an event that will not be repeated many times hardly seems like much to ask for. A healthy balanced life afterall leads to a happy productive employee.

We work so damn hard and add value to our companies. A little time to enjoy our new addition together would be a really appreciated perk.

Thank you for listening! Good luck Revive on your mission. My husband tried to raise the issue with his company, but failed. I hope you do better! I would love to see the big companies stepping up!

P.S. Oh and yes the policy in the US is equally appalling. Then again, I prefer not to look to the US for how to do things properly. Europe however stands up time and time again. Good for them for leading the way on paternity benefits.

In actual fact the Basic Conditions of Employment only provide for 3 days Family Responsibility leave, anything over and above that are at companies discretion. I'm in HR and it's sad to hear how HR departments are ridiculed for these policies. Don't shoot the messenger, we're just following procedure.

Couldnt have said it better myself! :P

Hey Revive

Congrats on your expected arrival you big old Softie! I mean really, wanting to bond with a child at birth is just ridiculous. Just wait 20 years for them to have a meangful conversation with you and that should do it. Mind you, by then they won't want to know you, so you'll miss the whole bonding thing, shame. Maybe the next one, but only wait 16 years to have a conversation with them....hehehe...absolute idiots. My little girl is almost three now and there is nothing...and I do mean NOTHING more rewarding than coming home at night and have her throw her arms around me and yell "Daddy!!!" Well..sometimes pappa... I live in the UK and had a full two weeks paternity leave, paid. I wouldn't give it up for the world. In February, when my second comes, I'll take my two weeks paternity leave again. My wife will have her 9 months paid and possibly three months unpaid, which is just as important!

The following site gives you and idea of worldwide paternity leave...... http://www.nationmaster.com/graph/lab_par_lea_pai_pat_lea-labor-parental-leave-paid-paternity.

Good luck with your little one, have an absolute blast (including sleepless nights and nappies!) Fortunately for us, we will grow up with our children knowing us intimately...not in the good old days when dads were merely a figure...not a person!

Again, all the best. If I can help, let me know!

Thanks! Its going well so far!! :d/

Totally agree...these "negative" responses...you can only assume they had a missing father figure or an inadequate father figure in their lives. Why else have the outlook that its a woman's job to look after a baby. Gotta feel sorry for their wives and kids. Shame man

PS: Im still looking for details as per my first post. If you can help, its greatly appreciated!!

Thank you for this information. I totally agree, we really are "stuck here in SA. Having looked at what happens overseas and comparing...it's crazy. But its like comparing apples with lettuce? 2 very different things! Hopefully something change here soon. What better place to start than in your own work place. Hopefully...when more people atch on, things will start progressing!