Shame, poor kid. My inlaws just doesn't like me, never had, never will, which suit me perfect as I don't think to highly of them to begin with. We had our first baby almost 4 years ago, then they went completely of their heads, making like it is the best thing that ever happen, it got so bad that I asked the hospital to bann them from walking in when they feel like it and only come in at visiting hours. Now, we (myself & inlaws) dont talk to each other for almost 5 years now, but they still kept on coming and being intrusive at our little home. This year we had a little boy, but when my wife told them that we are expecting again, instead of telling their daughter anything nice, they turned around and went off on her, as if they have to pay anything or we ever asked them anything.
So they just don't want anything to do with the little one. We have the delema where my daughter ask me now why doesn't grandma like my boetie? what did he do wrong that they don't want anything to do with him?
What do you tell a kid that doesn't understand that everybody can be mean sometimes, and some are more than others?
So I ended up telling her, your grand parents doesn't like daddy, and they don't like boetie, he is just not welcome there, you and mommy are, but not the two of us.
Which ended in a huge argument two weeks later when she refused to talk to her grand parents, instead telling them that she now doesn't like them neither.
So the moral of the story is, dont tell your child anything, they are smart enought when they are small to pickup these things by themselves, and they have the habit of telling everthing that is on their little minds, the raw truth as they see it, and nobody can say anything about it, children don't care about the consequences of their actions when they are small, they just don't care what they do or say, and when they do say something to a grandparent, it hurts them more than what you can argue with them!

Do what i do, just visit them less and less. If they visit you, then so be it, but why bust your head for people that don't care about you, take your hubby's advice and I am sure there are many family and friends who do care for your kid(s).

Don't waste any more effort on them, let them visit you if they want to but no more running around there.

It is sad that I read all the negative comments from the posters.

I have the same scenario, where my wife does not like the in-laws for the same reason. My parents and family don't get involved as much as they should be, but I have told my wife to ignore it and continue as though it is not an issue. My son gets adored by her family and showered with love.

Why should you be bitter about it, the day will come where they will regret it and not you, they will realise they have missed all the great moments with your kids and will regret every moment not spent with them. You should not go down to thier level and try and play tit for tat, but rather be yourself and keep visiting the in-laws. One day they will blame you for not making the effort, and in essence you assisted with this by trying to play games. I know they do not make the effort either, but then at least it will not be on your concience.

I don't understand why people need to always try and sort out things by rather fighting it head-on. It will not solve anything and at the end of the day, I think it will make it worse as it will just push the divide. Just rememeber who you are doing this for, them, yourself or your kids! Kids are always the ones that never understand and can't understand these massive walls we build as problems.

My advise is to ignore it and shower your kids with love and one day is one day that the kids do not want to spend time with thier grandparents and the grandparents can't understand why! It all comes around, at least you never had a hand in it.

We adopted 2 children. The one was from a different race group to us and the one set of grandparents refuse to acknowledge this child. They said we are welcome to visit them, but we are never to set foot on their property with this child. The other child is welcome though. We just simply do not go there and never contact them. If they cannot accept our little family as it is, then they don't deserve to be part of our lives.

I have a set of 4 year old twins. One girl & one boy. My in-laws often came to take the little boy for the day but did not want to take the girl. When she asked us why, we advised her to ask the grandparents. That afternoon when they brough my little boy back, the girl asked them why and they were speechless. We in turn said that as it obviously does bother her, we will no longer allow either one to go while the other must stay. They take both or none.

It seems that hearing it from the horses mouth so to speak has taught them a lesson. They now take both children together.

If and when your child starts asking the questions, let the granparents explain their actions. Its better than you saying something that will most probably be ripped out of proportion by the grandparents.

I hear what you are all saying, but think that the main solution is to accept people for who they are, and work with that and hope that they accept you for who you are. no one is perfect and we are all work in progress. the bible tells us not to take offence. in fact, if you want a blessed life, you have no choice.

You guys really don't know how much all your replies have helped me.
I now truly won't give a damn anymore. My husband took our daughter there over the weekend and she refused both his parents, she did not want to be anywhere near them, my daughter is very friendly & will normally happily go to anyone, Which just shows how kids sense things.

Thanks guys. Really appreciate it!!!

My in laws only "have" one grandson even though their 3 sons have 7 kids between them.

They take absolutely no notice of my children and everytime my husband mentioned something that our son had done - they would always mention that their favourite had done that ages ago (he is older)

Needless to say - my husband and I decided that we would make sure that our children never wanted for their attention. We're lucky where my parents absolutely adore our children and love spending time with them.

Our kids have never missed their other grandparents and have very little contact with them. It's sad but a fact of life and they get enough love from the people who want to love them not to miss people who don't