I dont pay anthing
She does not let me see my baby
so I dont pay coz she gets all the rights
and fun with baby


10minutes with my baby takes 5 weeks of negotiations


I do miss my baby stax very much

Husband has 4 kids out of wedlock from 4 diff women.
R350 for an 18 yr old boy
R400 for a 14 yr old boy
R0 for another 14 year old boy
R350 for a 5 year old girl

He earns £ as he works in England

Moist of you complain about maintenance I have a three and a half year old daughter with "special Needs" and only receives R700.00pm towards her all other costs I have to cover all he does is pulls his shouldes and says "sorry I dont have money"

Court case pending....

Geezzz, most of you seem very lucky, besides the one's who don't get anything... I get R650 per month per child (2 kids aged 6 & 10) Nothing extra. If there's medical bills, I have to littaraly suck it out of him. Best of all, my youngest is diagnosed with ADD, he had to go see a therapist, he's on natural medication for now and needs to attend extra classes - it cost me a shitload of money, but does he care? NO! AND I earn less than he does, though I am re-married again, he can't expect my husband to take financial care of HIS kids and yet my husband does everything for them!

I have a 3yr old daughter. Daddy pays R1400 at the moment and that covers everything I need for her. I get medical aid through work, buy her clothes, pay everything else.

But we have never had any issues RE money. He pays promptly every month, I don't hassle him for anything extra, sometimes they(he has a girlfriend) buy her some clothes which they would send home to me, but now that she has started sleep overs they will probably keep some with them.

I clear 8000, Daddy is in business with another partner, have no idea what he earns, sure its not to bad, but once again, not gonna milk him dry, just want enough for us to have everything we need. If I really need help I know I can go talk to him, but that is why I also put a portion of his money into a personal savings account for any eventualities and a portion goes into my daughters personal savings acc that I set up for her when she was born.


Guess we are just one of the lucky ones.....

Please, please PLEASE won't you be my ex-wife?

Cornell, it's quite simple - the Children's Act and associated legislation makes provision for maintenance to be paid by the parents of a particular child, towards the upkeep of that child, on a pro-rata basis.

So if your ex-wife takes home, say, R10,000-00 per month, and you only take home R5,000-00, then you should be contributing 1/3 (33%, roughly) and she should be contributing 2/3 (66%, roughly) towards your child.

The law also provides that you must 'have sight' of the costs - you are entitled to see the actual bills that she claims are for the child's needs (note: needs, not 'wants' and definitely not luxuries), and you are entitled to examine same and satisfy yourself as to their authenticity, before you pay your share thereof.


Also, please note that there is no longer a 'maternal preference rule' - so any statements like "mother is the best parent" or "father HAS to pay maintenance" are throwbacks to the OLD law and are now invalid in the eyes of the current law, which has changed (do yourself a HUGE favour and read, understand, and memorise the contents of the new Children's Act - see here: Children's Act 2010 - courtesy of Section 35 website) - BOTH parents have EQUAL RIGHTS with regards to the child(ren), and EQUAL RESPONSIBILITIES!

In fact, the most important provisions of the new Children's Act are contained in Section 35(1) and 35(2) - get to know those particular sections better than your own phone number, and USE THEM!

Cornell, as I noted above, please read section 35.1 VERY CAREFULLY - this section of the Act specifies that YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO ACCESS TO YOUR CHILD, AND YOUR CHILD THE RIGHT TO ACCESS TO YOU, AND NOBODY MAY OBSTRUCT THAT ACCESS!

Under this section of the act, if your child's mother refuses you access, she is liable to a fine and/or a term of imprisonment.

In fact, under this section of the act, a mother has ALREADY been found guilty and fined R20,000-00. Mother fined R20,000-00 for breach of court order!


As for verbal agreements, yes, they are legal and binding, but as a famous statesman once said, they're not worth the paper they're written on. Unless you have independent witnesses who are prepared to go to the effort of swearing affidavits and attending court to enforce the terms of your agreement with the third party, you might as well forget about it.
When it comes to your child, remember 3 things:
1) Reduce EVERYTHING to writing.
2) Do NOT trust anybody.
3) Above all, make sure you know the Children's Act backwards - most lawyers and attorneys are STILL ignorant as to the contents thereof, probably because it's a lot of reading, but that is NO EXCUSE. Also, most family advocates and social workers wilfully ignore the provisions of the Act - unlawful, malicious, and petty in the extreme and to the detriment of the child(ren) - so the only way for you to beat these people at their own game is to KNOW the law and insist upon your - and your child's - rights under the Children's Act.

Remember, there is NO MATERNAL PREFERENCE RULE any longer.
BOTH PARENTS HAVE EQUAL RIGHTS AND DUTIES.

And the child's interests and rights must come first.