WOW i hope you all feel ashamed and guilty
If you had been more RESPONSIBLE and planned rather than play around to begin with, you wouldnt be sitting in that position.

SHAME ON YOU, kids are so damn precious!

I'm 25 now, and I always wanted to have my first child (of 2) by time I was 30. Then I got a puppy - he's the cutest sweetest thing on 4 legs and I love him to death, but he made me realise that maybe I should wait a little more than 5 years before I start thinking about kids!

The bottom line is: I you're thinking about starting a family - get a puppy. They are a million times less hassle than kids and a thousand times cheaper, so if that gets you down sometimes, maybe you should reconsider the whole children idea...

Before we started a family my husband and I agreed that under no circumstance will we make the kids our excuse for not progressing careewise, and I can tell you we did exactly that. When our first daugther was only 4 months my husband was offered a job in Cape Town and I said go for it , we will follow you, two months later I also had an offer in Cape Town. Some 4 years down the line I had to take up a position back in Pretoria and by then my second child was 13 months we discussed this and I packed my bags with the little one and my daughter stayed behind with her dad, and to top it all it was her first year at school(Grade 1) I tried to convince her to move with me and she refused because she was looking forward to the new school with all her friends. The first 3 months were tough for her and me but after wards everyone was happy with travelling up and down and we always looked forward to the weekends. A year later I was back in Cape Town mission accomplished and at a different level careerwise. My husband has always been involved with the kids so life continued as normal in my absence only with more responsibilities of picking up and dropping off and sports days. Things like going out for drinks and hobbies, should not be an issue.... As a married couple with kids you should take turns to enjoy what you only like, after all that is what makes you who you are. If my husband is going out for drinks with colleagues on friday I will take my turn the next friday. Sometimes it is just a matter of checking with your partner if he will cover for you whilst you are out, I travel a lot and when I am at home I allow my husband more time to go out as he spends most of the time with the kids when I am travelling.Though he also travel we both made our employers aware. The real issue is not the kids ... work on the relationship, communication,role sharing and planning, the kids belongs to both of you, so share the responsibilities. If my husband can come to me tomorrow and say we are moving overseas, hell I will pack and with kids in tow follow him,I trust his judgement and believe that he will not take up any offer unless it was for our benefit as a family.

Very interesting topic. when you have kids your body (& brain) is flooded with chemicals that change you, even father's (if they have early contact) - so you have all this unconditional love as a result. without that you would probably get rid of them as soon as possible. So parents have this driving them. Kids on the other hand are selfish manipulating psychopaths who have to be socialized into a respectable role. In today's modern world, unless you really have the capacity for it, DON'T HAVE KIDS. this topic is more suitable on a teenage website to educate them - get your kids pets that they have to take care of let the thing die if they don't. a compassionate person would look at the world, and ask can i do this??
one quote i read once went something like this: "if parents loved their children there would be no wars." Think about it.

My wife and I have been trying to have kids for 20 years. The stigma that goes with not being able to have children is amazing. We both love travelling and as of now are settling down in the USA. We would have come with our kids had we got any. I get the impression that people don't really regret having kids. Its just that sometimes they feel like they shouldn't have had them. Don't we regret a few other things!!

I know two families who moved over to Dubai for the dad's work opportunities & loved it. there are fantastic schools & its a great environment for kids. Also had a friend who worked in Columbia for two years & his wife & kid had armed bodyguards & bullet-proofed cars & they still say it was the right choice for them. We moved cities within SA when my dad changed jobs & its never easy to leave a place you know, but I loved my new school & friends. In this day & age a new country is no different really. I say go for it - I would!

I love my son but I too sometimes wish things could go back to the way they were before my wife and I had our little one. It's our relationship I miss the most. Little things like being able to spontaneously go for dinner and a movie because one of us has had a bad day. Waking up at 6:30 and having a chance at a quicky before work (Now the sprog wakes us up and we are in too much of a rush to do more than peck each other on the cheek.), going to an expensive restaurant, going wine tasting.

Now there is just no time, no money and no energy for any of the things we used to enjoy together.

The constant tiredness makes me depressed and irritable and some days I just can't handle the thought of coming home to hell hour.

To all of you who assume people will be lonely that don't have kids; PLEASE THINK AGAIN! You need to realize there is no guarantee your children will grow up and be around you or take care of you. What makes you think you'll have perfect children that will respect you and grow up and take care of you? That is such a myth! You might be in a nursing home and your children wont even come to see you. This sort of thing occurs quite often.