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I am at the beginning of this journey called Adoption.
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#45 Posted : Tuesday, April 20, 2010 6:36:08 PM(UTC)
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@ ludditelass
Thank you for the positive note. If you do not mind is it possible for you to share the contact details of the agencies that you contacted and were able to assist with your adoptions.
ludditelass
#46 Posted : Friday, April 23, 2010 2:03:22 AM(UTC)
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Contact me on Spaces on my blog Luddite Lass on Parent24 and I'll give you all the details.
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#47 Posted : Friday, April 23, 2010 1:07:29 PM(UTC)
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There are white babies out there if you wish to adopt a white baby, yes it does take longer but i know of at least 3 people who have adopted white babies in the last year but some of us choose to adopt a baby regardless of colour or culture so please don't judge or make racists comments because it's unnecessary and hurtful!
HoneyZA
#48 Posted : Wednesday, April 28, 2010 3:05:41 AM(UTC)
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Hubby and I have also just started the process of adoption. I would also love to find out more information. I know cost is a huge factor. Is there really such a big difference in cost between welfare and private agencies?

I would love to find out cost wise and also waiting period wise if anyone has any information. We are not too restricted we would just like a child sooner rather than later. We have so much love to give.

Thank you for any help/suggestions or tips.

tanya2177
#49 Posted : Wednesday, April 28, 2010 4:58:27 PM(UTC)
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Wow it amazes me at the responce that you get from people.

Fact: There are very very few White babies out there
Fact: There sadly are lots of black and colored babies out there
Myth: People dont adopt children for a social Satus
Fact: There are many Children in the foster system

I wish people would stop looking at race in total. I understand there are cultral diffrences but seriously people who Adopt children are a blessing. Just as the Birthmoms who Place their children up for adoption. I can promise you a child would rather have two parents who love them regardless of race than be in the street not cared for or loved.

A child doesnt see color it only sees love so why cant the rest of you see this.

Mom to two girls
Birthmom to a beautiful daughter placed 2yrs ago
Surrogate
Guest
#50 Posted : Friday, April 30, 2010 2:58:08 PM(UTC)
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We have two adult biological kids and now a six year old Zulu boy who is the delight of our life. So different and interesting, although we have had him from birth and raised him so far just as we did the others. All they need is a safe place to call home and a a soft place to fall, with boundaries to help them learn their own.
But oh boy, you get some funny comments! If you think the ones above are shocking, wait til you take your little bundle out to the mall! Really endearing frank questions from kids, really curious ones from other black people, and some seriously disturbed ones from verkrampte whites. But overwhelmingly you will find your little gift embraced and loved by all.
We adopted through child welfare and it took just five very busy days! We belong to a wonderful adoption support group here in East London where our "different kids' play together and support each other and we parents get to answer and share a lot of problems. I am going to take a chance and give out my email addres in case any other adoptive parents in East London would like to join us. Please do not bother to send racist rantings. I will delete hem before the end of the first sentence.
God will bless you.
hoodunnit@webmail.co.za
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#51 Posted : Wednesday, May 05, 2010 1:18:44 PM(UTC)
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All those who says there are white babies available, can you please give that detail? please share that detail online with other parents who desperately want to adopt white children. It sound to be one of the best kept secrets out there?! It is SO easy to say but there is white babies available. Do you know the abortion stats in SA? Do you know a child of 12 can have an abortion? Did you visit an abortion clinic? You will cry! White little girls are sitting there. They abort their babies, they don’t want to be pregnant. they don’t even consider adoption. Because abortion is the 1st option you get form the abortion clinic sister. Not adoption.

also did you sit with a list of 250 phone numbers phoning EVERY agency in SA and only hears sorry, no white babies available. or we can only accept 20 couples a year for babies. or hear we have a waiting list of over 400 couples. Or sorry all lists are CLOSED for white babies, or go to children’s homes and went for 'fostering lessons'? that is what we personally went through. For 3 years! all answers I got was sorry. no, not now, non available, cannot assist, no white babies, etc etc etc... even fostering is a nightmare, most parents do not want to sign a form for fostering, or do not want to give their children up for adoption. they will rather let their child suffer in a children’s home then give that child to parents who can help.

I had to rethink my whole parenting after that. I wanted to become a mommy, why must I suffer because I cannot fall pregnant, I wanted to cry every time I see a pregnant mommy or a mommy with a baby, I was like why me?? why??? why can’t I adopt? I had a hysterectomy at 20 so there were NO changes of IF’s and that stuff.

I was 35 when I became open for a cross-cultural adoption. today I have 2 beautiful colored little ones, I cannot imagine my life with them not in it. yes we do have obstacles, yes, we do have people that blatantly stares and point to us, but I don’t care I love my babies, I only want the best for them in life.

Who are you to judge us? Just because we are open to cross cultural adoption doesn’t make us bad people? I cannot BELIEVE that we are being labeled trying to be ‘in’, also why is it a problem for blacks when we adopt black babies??

The point is no one is asking you who became pregnant and have a baby any questions but us who constantly have to fight to became a mommy must be labeled and judges just because we want to adopt? Very unfair..
Mandy
#52 Posted : Wednesday, May 19, 2010 10:26:53 AM(UTC)
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There are no white babies available, but why should it matter?? Are we seriously going to perpetuate racial division forever? People need to move on and realise that the world is changing. By the way, my adopted daughter is not an accessory or a pet, she is the love of my life and I dont even see her colour anymore, she is part of me.

To anyone wishing to adopt I wish you all the best, its a wonderful life changing experience for you and the child. PLease try to ignore the racists and bigots out there, they are merely slow and backward.

XXX
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#53 Posted : Wednesday, May 19, 2010 3:56:02 PM(UTC)
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I am so excited that you want to adopt a child - we need more people like you in the world!

I fostered a gorgeous little coloured boy when he was 4 weeks old (he is now nearly 4 years old) and he is the light of my life. That God could have blessed me with such a precious gift is a true miracle. I pray that we will be able to adopt him soon!

Having worked in the social service sector and volunteered at many children's homes has awakened me to the reality that a loving home is ALWAYS better than a children's home, or living on the streets.

Have you ever thought about fostering? It can be very rewarding and you often have the privilege of loving more than one child over the years. There is a desperate need for loving foster parents in this country.

To the unfortunately ignorant racist people out there, as others have mentioned, it is very tough to adopt a white baby. I cry when I think of how many white babies are aborted each year, but that is the reality. Last year, friends of ours finally adopted a white baby after being on the waiting list for 10 YEARS! Most people won't wait that long, and no one can blame them.

Who cares what colour your skin is? My husband is coloured, I am white, and we have a wonderful rainbow family...but I'm guessing you don't approve of mixed marriages either!
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#54 Posted : Thursday, May 27, 2010 2:41:51 PM(UTC)
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Since when has culture been a genetic thing?! A baby, irrespective of race, grows up in a culture, he/she is not BORN with a culture. Have any of you racists ever study biology? Do you know how thin the outer layer of the skin is, while we ARE ALL THE SAME just underneath that layer? And show me a single white person in SA without a black ancestor somewhere. Do stop these very hurtful remarks and put yourselves in the shoes of those you hurt.

My beautiful black adopted daugther is the light of our lives, is highly intelligent (has been first in her class for the past 5 years), extremely compassionate towards other people, and no other child could've given us the joy and love she has given us over the past 12 years.

The process of adoption was not difficult (although we did appreciate the strict measurements in place - it's not just "babies up for grabs") - the paperwork afterwards took some time. I know your dream will come true, her siblings will love her unconditionally (our mixed family has definitely not traumatised any of the other children, on the contrary, they are very proud of their beautiful sister, are wonderfully tolerant and compassionate children, and they all laugh together a lot).



HoneyZA
#55 Posted : Thursday, May 27, 2010 6:32:47 PM(UTC)
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Hi Guest (27/5/10 12:41:51)

I would like to find out if your little girl had any problems with other people and how they treated her. Was she teased etc?

We are in the process of adopting and waiting for our baby. We do not have a race preferance as we feel the same way you do. It really is just the colour of their skin. We are however taking into consideration how our child will be treated by others. Kids get teased for the smallest thing these days and I would hate to add something else for my child to be treated badly for.

I was just wondering if someone - like you - with first hand experience could give me more info so that I could be prepared for that as our baby get's older.

Thank you so much :)
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#56 Posted : Friday, May 28, 2010 1:27:49 AM(UTC)
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Brick wall Obviously you people who are saying "why a black child" have no idea of what is really behind adoption in SA today. There is a massive shortage of available white children to adopt and that is why anyone with 1 brain cell will be open to adopting a child from another race. I have 2 adopted children. The first was a white child who arrived in the mid 90's. By the time we wanted to adopt a 2nd child, we were told to be open to other races as only 1st time parents would get the option of a white child and if for any reason that white child was not placed with a family, then 2nd time parents would have the opportunity to adopt that child. We finally adopted a child of mixed race in 2000. How much more difficult is it now to adopt a white child. Get your facts right or rather don't comment.
ct.adoption.support
#57 Posted : Friday, May 28, 2010 11:31:03 AM(UTC)
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I wanted to let you know that my Cape Town based adoption support group will be starting on the 14 July Wednesday evening at 19:30 – 21:30.

I am also trying to get a group going on a Monday late afternoon (16:30 – 18:00). There are not yet enough people to make up a group at this time, but this group might be able to start earlier ( 7, 14, 21 June and the 5, 12, and 19 July) so this might suit you if you are keen to start as soon as possible better.

Both these groups are for people who are considering adoption and want to talk through the decision, those who are in the
process of adopting and for those who have adopted and need support.

If you are interested in joining either of these groups, please contact me (ct.adoption.support@gmail.com) to set up a time to meet and discuss your needs.
Hannahshope
#58 Posted : Friday, May 28, 2010 11:46:22 PM(UTC)
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Hi there, please check out my blog (we adopted a newborn, white baby recently) at: http://letterdash.com/Hannahshope.

Just for the record (and believe you me, I DO know what I'm talking about) there are NOT many white children in foster care eagerly awaiting adoption. And there are most definintely NOT young white mothers willing to give their babies up for adoption!!!!!! Also, you will NOT find a white baby simply by word of mouth.

If you are serious about adoption and if you have given it appropriate thought, you are welcome to contact me for more information. I don't care if you want to adopt a white, black, grey or pink baby, I just give out information about ADOPTION, nothing else.
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#59 Posted : Saturday, May 29, 2010 8:08:40 PM(UTC)
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This is the adoption forum, and I wish those with their racists attitudes will please find another forum that they can address their racists remarks, and not on this page!! You obviously have not adopted or interested in the process of adoption, or even remotely understand the reasons people have for opting for an interracial adoption. Your remarks are naive and insensitive and I wish that you could please find another forum that will be more applicable to what you are looking for, as this page is obviously not meant for you.
reluctantmom
#60 Posted : Monday, May 31, 2010 1:08:11 PM(UTC)
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It is a bit bleak that the comments on this thread were not all positive, but one can't really expect to be met with happy smiley people all the way through life, so I guess this is one of those processes where there will be some resistance, and many unkind comments made "quietly"- but I think most parents/potential parents how have decided to pursue adoption have probably been through many trials of fire, so the slightly unsympathetic comments are not going to deter them.

My present situation is for now that I will continue to pursue Child Welfare as a route to adoption.

I cannot begin the process until my youngest daughter is 18 months - no doubt they have seen the impact of children who are too close in age and the resulting stress on the family.

I accept this and realise if I wanted really push my claim, I could go through a private agency and probably get what ever I am willing to pay for.

My partner is less "fired up" about the process than I am, and I am trying to respect his "reluctance" and wait the time out with more grace and patience than I feel inside.

I hope that by the beginning of next year when the dust has settled and our daughter is 18 months, my partner has had more time to consider the process/option of adoption and we can pick the subject up again.

I have "spoken" to so many wonderful people who have adopted, and it is hard, as someone said earlier is it astounding how few adoptions there actually are - but the issue is often that children are caught up in a system and their parents have not signed away their parental rights, so those children are often desperate, but are not "available" for adoption.

It is very sad that colour is an issue for so many, but that is not for me to judge. A child is a child, a child who needs a home needs a home, and it does not matter what colour or creed that child is.
parent24ed
#61 Posted : Monday, May 31, 2010 1:28:58 PM(UTC)
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Hi reluctantmom, this thoughtful, understanding reply of yours has touched my heart today. I love what you've said here.
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#62 Posted : Monday, June 14, 2010 5:32:54 PM(UTC)
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Congratutalions - you are about to enbark on the most awsome experience. Ours is 22months old now and we are soo happy that she choose us to be her parents. Your vision is probably your little angel trying to connect with you. It all boils down to love - like culture ext. it doesn't have to be an issue but you will be able to deal with all the challenges with love and guidance from above when you face it - like with any other child. Enjoy the journey.
Guest in Sasolburg
#29 Posted : Saturday, July 24, 2010 9:40:50 PM(UTC)
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Claire_V you are talking absolute NONSENSE, i know of 4 woman you have adopted WHITE babies YES WHITE BABIES in the past 6 months


We have tried and tried - I can not find the correct people to assist in adopting a white baby. this has been 3years.thank you.
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#63 Posted : Sunday, July 25, 2010 11:12:14 AM(UTC)
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Hi, I am also wanting to adopt a babt and race does not matter! Where do i get started?
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