Hi Members, I would like some opinions on this. Sometimes we get comments on our articles and forums saying to other people: you obviously don't have kids. I am intrigued by this, as I don't think you can necessarily tell from someone's opinions whether they have children. And, do you think non-parents comments on parenting issues are valid? I do, as we are all part of a family as children, aunts and uncles, brothers and sisters or cousins ourselves.

I think that actually HAVING a child is a rather crucial part of the qualifications necessary when you wish to describe youself as a parent...

Only having second-hand theoretical experience of parenting doesn't qualify you as a parent - and while there are manifold theories around parenting, there is absolutely NOTHING that works with all children in all situations. Parents (or primary caregivers, to use the latest PC-speak) are also the ones who know their own children best.

But as Parent24user notes, there is any number of people out there who believe that they (alone) hold the key(s) to successful parenting - even though they lack that most important qualification of all - children. Nothing teaches you humility quicker or more thoroughly than having your child vomit their food down your back at 3 in the morning. Nothing teaches you the true meaning of love more comprehensively than holding your child in your arms for the first time. And nothing teaches you selflessness more efficiently and permanently than being faced with the choices every normal caring parent makes every single day of their lives when seeking to fulfil their children's needs as opposed to satisfying their own desires. The former always wins, in case anybody was wondering...!!

The problem isn't 'non-parents' commenting, per se, but people commenting under the cover of "Guest" - the anonymity afforded them apparently encourages some people (not all!) to drag out all their own personal baggage, and to spew bitterness and hatred unabated.

Yes, there are bad men out there. But not all men are bad.
Yes, there are bad women out there. But not all women are bad.

Why then are we continually subjected to the vitriolic outbursts of obviously unsettled individuals who hide behind the anonymity of "Guest"? Why are these individuals allowed to make judgemental and patently unfair comments, based on their belief that ALL members of a certain gender are 'bad'? It certainly doesn't support my Constitutional right to dignity, the supreme Constitutional value (see: http://ajol.info/index.p...rticle/view/43490/27025) of South Africa. Free speech, by contrast, is only a Constitutional right when the person 'speaking' does so in full view, so to speak, and not from behind the shield of anonymity.

Simply, it has to do with maturity - and whether or not you have children is not a factor in whether or not you are mature. If it were, then why are so many children abused by their own parents (male OR female) every day, all over the world?

No, being a parent is much more than just breeding and popping out babies. Being a parent is not limited (although some people would have it so) to those who have their own, biological children. Being a parent is more of a mindset than a biological fact - which is why some (not all) people without children of their own offer hugely valuable insights into the business of parenting. One caveat: don't believe ANYTHING a teenager tells you when they're trying to manipulate you into getting what they want, as opposed to what they really need... like discipline...

As with everything else in life, there are extremists out there - extremely bad versus extremely good, extremely involved versus extremely distant - and the answer is to find what works for you and your children, and to walk that path. It's YOUR path. Often, what appears (to some people) to point to the poster not having children is actually only evidence/proof that their children are different to yours. Which is entirely as it should be - we're humans, not robots.

I believe that comments by parents OR non-parents are only valid IF THEY ARE MADE FROM A POSITION OF KNOWLEDGE AND EXPERIENCE, GIVEN IN A TRUE SPIRIT OF LOVE AND UNDERSTANDING, WANTING TO HELP RATHER THAN BREAK DOWN THE OTHER PERSON, AND NOT USED MERELY AS A PLATFORM TO PROMOTE NEGATIVE AND HATE-FILLED PERSONAL VIEWPOINTS TO THE DETRIMENT OF OTHERS, PARTICULARLY ON THE BASIS OF GENDER STEREOTYPES.

To this end, as I have stated elsewhere on this forum, and in view of human nature being what it is (I have extensive personal experience that bears this out), only registered users with valid and verified email addresses should be allowed to post comments on this forum. Otherwise, it doesn't really matter whether or not they have children (or are dedicated aunties/uncles) or are even just teenagers - their viewpoints will be more responsible and more adult if they know that there could be 'consequences' for hate-speech, because they cannot hide behind the anonymity of "Guest"...

But that's my own opinion on the matter... you may or may not agree, as you see fit... but just being here and posting in this section means that you actually do care and are really prepared to stand by your own opinion.

As am I.

I'd love to hear more about what you observe the parents and kids doing and saying at the daycare (no names!). Probably great training for your possible future parenting days.

I am not a parent, yet. We've been trying for 4 and a half years now, and still no baby.
But, i do have 4 boys and 1 girl. We are gardians of them, and look at them as our little kids. Yes we don't have them day in and day out, but spending a lot of time with all of them you do learn a lot, and can possibly give some sound advice of how to do things. I'm an observer, and learn a lot from others. So in turn to help my other friends and their situations.